The Fear
by billyG
Summary: Bella has been keeping a secret. However, as always the truth will come out. "This moment had been coming for months. Years. I just never imagined it happening like this. I expected to feel fear but I only felt calm." A love story. AH OOC B
1. Prologue

Prologue

_Present._

I would never tire of waking up next to him. I wonder if it like this for everyone. Maybe at the beginning. _The honeymoon period._ But I can't imagine a time when it wouldn't be heaven to wake up like this.

He was lying on his front, one arm slung across my naked torso. Every muscle in his back was exposed, his broad shoulders and the dip of waist. It reminds me of our first summer...

_Emmett and Edward had both come home for two weeks. Emmett had brought Rosalie for the first time to meet Dr and Mrs Cullen. The weather had been scorching, we had spent most of the time at the beach. The boys had immediately stripped down to their shorts and began to toss a football around. Watching Edward's muscles as he threw or caught the ball I was mesmerized. It would be totally untrue to say that was when I first loved Edward. It started the moment I first laid eyes on him. _

He was beautiful in his sleep, hair a wild disarray of red and brown as his cheek rested on his pillow. His eyelashes fluttering minutely against the top of his cheekbones. A small smile played at his lips and I wondered if he was dreaming. _If he was dreaming about me._

A sudden bang echoed downstairs and a voice called out, "Edward?"

"Edward?" The voice called out again, louder this time, searching.

"Edward," I spoke quietly, shaking his shoulder.

"Bella," he mumbled, clutching me round my waist and pulling me closer into him.

"Edward?" I shook his shoulder more violently, "There's someone in the house..."

He opened his eyes and focused on me. We strained our ears against the silence; listening to the sounds of someone moving around the house.

"Where have you been? I really need to talk to you. I know you lied to Mom and Dad, I spoke to Emmett. " The accusing voice bellowed out, closing in on us now and I was able to recognize it.

I knew this moment had been coming. It had been coming for months. _Years_.

I had lived in constant worry as our secret weighed heavily on my conscious. But the guilt never got so bad that I would give him up. I had laid awake on lonely nights imagining scenarios of how it would happen, the possibilities... A love token's hiding place upturned. I word, a look, betraying our secret selves. In my more creative wondering we were discovered in some mildly compromising position. But I never imagined it happening like this. I had considered the possible reactions of those closest to us. Alice. Dr and Mrs. Cullen. Emmett. Hell, even Jasper and Rose. But mostly... Charlie. But in the myriad of uncertainties the only certainty was the inevitability of discovery.

I expected to feel fear; but I only felt calm.

The world stilled; silence prevailed except for the echo of footsteps on the stairs signalling our impending fate.

A brief flash of fear crossed Edward's features before they rearranged themselves again. His eyes flashed with steely determination, he pulled me quickly towards him, placing a lingering kiss on my forehead before releasing me, his eyes searching my face.

The bedroom door finally opened, as and the voice rang out again, "God, Edward...what the hell is going on?"

A loud gasp signalled that the position we had been found in was unexpected. Edward flipped over and sat up, simultaneously pulling me and the coverlet with him. "Alice."

"You...you," she stuttered, her eyes wide shock. "Your... You two. Together."

Her eyes fixed on mine, and the pain reflected in them made my heart ache and my stomach lurch.

"Oh my god!"

She paused, looking between us, "You lied to me. You both lied to me! Your...your...my brother...and...and...I thought you were my best friend, Bella."

She didn't shout or scream. There were no dramatics. She spoke in a soft quiet voice so filled with hurt.

"But it turns out I don't know who you are at all."

And then she was gone, the front door could be heard banging and the roar of a car engine. Edward was still looking at me with an unreadable expression on his face.

I suddenly felt bile rising in my throat and knew what was coming next.


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter One

_**One month ago. **_

"Bye, Dad!" I yelled over my shoulder as I ran out the house. I slung the bag in my hand in the bed of my rusty red truck and opened the drivers door. I was free.

"Wait a moment, please, young lady."

_Almost._

I stopped short at the sound of the gruff voice. My hand paused on the open door I turned around to see Charlie standing on the porch TV remote still in hand. I was already late and now Alice was going to kill me.

"I'll be ringing the Cullen house to check on you later, Isabella," he said sternly, "No drinking. No drugs. No staying up late. No _boys_." _No fun,_ I added in my head. He emphasised the last point and I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. I knew from previous experience that it would only get me grounded.

"Yes, Dad," I gave him a solemn look to indicate that I had understood what he was saying, 'We're just having pizza and watching movies.'

"Well, be good." He scowled at me before returning back inside the house.

I got into the truck starting the engine and heading off before he might change his mind.

Rule number one in the Charlie Swan parental handbook: _No boys._ To him this was by far the most important rule. Homework and chores must be done before anything else. Grades must stay above a 3.5 GPA. No staying out late. Curfew of 9 on a school night, 10 at the weekend. Unless it was a pre-approved sleepover with Alice. In which case he would ring Alice's to check up on where I was...yeah, you get the general idea.

It was never like this before.

I turned up the drive to the Cullen house just as my cell rang for the third time.

"Bella, you're late!" Alice had opened the truck door, pulling me out by my arm before the tires had barely even rolled to a stop. Alice had a petite frame, vivid blue eyes and black spiky hair. It could easily be said that my best friend was a ball of energy.

"I'm sorry...Charlie wanted to check I had finished all my homework and I had to finish up the chores...," I said shaking my head.

"Never mind that now...," she bounced on her heels, "We need to get going I don't want to miss the start!"

With one hand still on my arm she grabbed my bag and made her way over to the front door. Pulling it open she flung it inside yelling, "Mom! Dad! Bella's here...we're going now. Catch you later!"

I rolled my eyes at Alice despite being used to this kind of behaviour from her. She continued to pull my arm and ushered me into her car, talking non-stop at high speed whilst she drove to the school.

Upon exiting the car in the parking lot, Alice grabbed my hand once again and set off at a fast pace towards the football field.

"Okay! Alice!" I spoke a little harsher than I had intended, "I know you're excited but please can you stop man-handling me? Jeesh!"

Alice gave me a sheepish look as she released my hand from her grip.

"I'm sorry Bella. I just get a little carried away. It's Jazz's first game of the season and I get so nervous for him, you know."

"Yeah, I had gathered..." I rolled my eyes.

"I'm so lucky to have such an understanding best friend," she grinned before adding, "Now get a move on before all the good seats are taken."

We managed to find seats to Alice's standards in plenty of time before the game started. When Jasper had taken to the pitch Alice had let out a shrill scream which had almost deafened me. Although it did successfully get Jasper's attention and we both stood up and cheered him.

And that was the most exciting part of the game so far, since neither Alice nor I had any interest in football. What. So. Ever.

"So, Tyler Crowley is looking pretty cute," Alice started with a sly look in my direction.

_Grrrr, not again._

"I'm sure Jasper would be happy to hear you think so." I smirked at her not falling for her trap, before returning my eyes to the pitch. The other team had just scored a touch-down.

"Ahhh...come on, Bella!," She tried the patented Cullen pout, "Your going to be 18 soon...you've got to be interested in some guy."

"Alice..." I sighed. This was a conversation that had occurred many times before.

"I know, I know...but maybe Charlie will relax his no-dating rule. You could ask you know. Besides I know that you like someone..."

_Oh, if only you knew._

"Charlie is not going to relax his rules. Not after last time. Besides...you should focus on Jasper."

"I'll get it out of you eventually," she smiled before suddenly yelling 'Go Spartans!' at the top of her voice.

A little way into the second quarter I looked up to see three familiar figures making their way up the bleachers to where we were seated. The figure leading was...well, huge, tall and muscular but with brown hair piercing blue eyes and full cheeks. A walking goddess linked hands with the tall man, her perfect curves and blonde flowing hair looking impossibly feminine next to his masculinity.

And lastly... _him_. Eyes focused down on the bleachers, all you could see was a tall, broad frame and a shock of bronze sex-hair. My heart sped up automatically, my hands we clammy in reaction as he approached. Butterflies crashed around in my stomach, matching the erratic beating in my chest._ Arghhh, get a grip Bella! Now is not the time._

"Jelly Belly!" A loud voice boomed, and before I knew it I was being pulled into a rib-crushing hug.

"Emmy-kins!" I gasped response and he released me back onto the bleachers.

"It's so good to see you...when did you two get in?" I questioned as I gave Rosalie a hug.

"Just now...we picked Eddie-boy up on our way." Rosalie responded.

"Hello, Bella." A soft voice spoke my name and my body reacted immediately. My heart spluttered, my breath caught in my throat, my panties became wet. I ignored my bodies instinctual reaction to him speaking my name and forced myself to raise my head and look at him. Green eyes bore into my own and my heart felt like it had expanded to twice its size. I smiled despite myself.

"Oh...Hi Edward." I responded, a beat too slow. I sat down quickly, glancing around me suspiciously to see if anyone noticed.

Emmett had already sat down in the bleachers a row behind us. Rosalie was exchanging hugs with her soon to be sister-in-law. _Which reminded me..._

"I almost forgot! Congratulations again, you two! I can't believe your getting married."

"Thanks, I know," Rosalie now seated, had a dreamy look on her face as she gazed towards Emmett who grinned widely.

"It's so exciting...have you decided on a date yet? Where's the wedding going to be...what about colors? Flowers?" Alice turned around to look at the happy couple.

"Steady on, squirt," Emmett leaned forward ruffled his sister's hair, earning a scowl, "I only asked her last weekend, there's time for all that yet."

I laughed out loud, tossing my head back and that's when I felt it. I slight tugging on my hair, as if it had caught on something. I swept my hair across my left shoulder and resisted the urge to turn around.

We continued watching the game, shouting encouragement to our team as they were slowly being defeated by the opposition.

Edward was sitting directly behind me. I could almost feel his body heat radiating from where he was sat. It made me uncomfortable to be in his presence. My heart had calmed down returning to its normal rhythmic thumping but my whole being was on alert due to his close proximity.

I had difficulty sitting still as the game progressed and I shifted once again in my seat. The toe of his right sneaker came into contact with my side. _Nudge._ So softly I barely felt it and so briefly I almost imagined it. My heart sped up and I shifted again in my seat.

And so it continued.

_Tug. _Shift. _Nudge. _Shift..._ Tug. _Shift. _Nudge. _Shift.

And each time part of him came into contact with me, even just accidentally, for a millisecond my heart would lurch. It was a bittersweet torture.

By the time the game finished I was gripping the edge of the bleacher. I barely registered that the Spartans had lost the first game of the season as we stood up to exit the field with the rest of the crowd. Emmett and Edward were discussing the game and the teams' performance, reminiscing about the times that Emmett had played football when he was a high school student.

As we approached the school, Alice piped up in a sing-song voice, "Ed-ward."

He looked at her with a frown before responding, "Al-ice," with an equally musical lilt.

"You know you're my favourite brother ever?" She began.

"What about me?" Emmett accused, which everyone ignored.

"What do you want?" Edward asked her suspiciously.

Alice put on her best Cullen pout, as she proceeded to question her eldest brother, " was gonna wait for Jasper. Please please please can you drive my car home? I know you drove over with Em and Rose...I'll love you forever?"

They exchanged another look, Alice working her pout for all that it was worth until eventually Edward sighed.

"What about me?" I turned to my best friend.

"Oh...well, you were kind of a package deal with the car," she said dismissively as she fished around in her purse for her keys.

"Great, thanks. Drive one car, get Bella free." I responded with fake chagrin.

"Well...who can refuse an offer like that." Edward replied his voice so smooth. He flashed me a grin that made me momentarily freeze up. His eyes were dancing with playfulness but a fire hid deep within them.

"Thanks, Edward. You're the best." Alice thrust her keys at Edward before running off in the direction of the locker rooms.

"Come on." He smirked at me, twirling the keys around his finger, "Looks like I'm your chauffer for the evening, Miss Swan."

I looked back at Edward again, unable to speak and followed as he led the way with Emmett and Rosalie out into the parking lot. I couldn't help but be feel excited at the prospect of sharing a car alone with Edward but I tried to keep my emotions from showing outwardly.

Sometimes, if only Alice knew.

This was only part of the Cullen's that I didn't like. In fact I hated it. They had the perfect family and somehow I couldn't help but feel slightly jealous of that fact. They all had each other.

Dr and Mrs Cullen had gone out for the evening leaving us 'kids' to have a pizza and movies night, after the football match.

Alice was my best friend. She was my only friend that Charlie approved of, apart from Jake and that was only because Charlie had known Jake all his life.

I felt bad that we couldn't go out and have more freedom. Charlie barely trusted me to have a sleepover at Alice's, let alone go anywhere that wasn't pre-approved. But Alice was great about my limitations due to Charlie's rule system.

Dr and Mrs Cullen we're really the best parents. I loved Emmett was like the older brother I never had and Rosalie was really not as bitchy as she seemed. Emmett and Rosalie were both 24 and lived in Seattle but often made the trip down to Forks for the weekend where we would all hang out.

And Edward...well, Edward was not so much like a brother to me. I mean I'm pretty sure a brother is not meant to make me feel like Edward does. I don't think that Alice would really appreciate knowing that I had crush on her elder brother.

So here we are. We'd eaten the pizza and were currently spread out around the lounge watching a movie. I wasn't really paying attention I just sat watching the flickering images on the screen and trying to ignore the man sitting by himself on an identical lazyboy to mine across the other side of the room. It was taking all of my willpower not to look in his direction. Not to stare at his bronze hair that looked soft to the touch, his angular jaw and pale skin. But most of all those eyes.

Alice was currently curled up on a sofa with Alice and Jasper, who had fallen asleep. Alice was intently watching the film, her face fixed in a serious expression. Emmett and Rosalie too stretched out on another sofa, a blanket covering them. I tried not to look in their direction or put too much thought into what was probably happening underneath that blanket. _Ewww._

It felt so lonely, sitting here on my own, watching the other two couples cuddling. I briefly wondered if Edward was feeling the same way as me. Did he want someone to hold while pretending to watch a movie? Someone to show and give affection? I looked away from the screen briefly.

He was looking at me.

Directly at me.

His green eyes blazing once more, but no smile was present on his face. Not even a smirk. His eyes were hungrily searching my face, my body. His lips twitched in a quasi-smile, he shifted in his seat. His gaze never left me.

My temperature flared up, the heat rising to my face and my heart pounded painfully in my chest.

I turned my face back to the screen, my body still faced in his direction screaming out for me to look back at him once more. I would not look at him. I held out, trying as always to shut out the instinctive reaction to look at him. To go to him. To have him.

It was impossible for me to be in a room and not be aware of him. I cheated.

He was staring still.

His face showed a look of concern, a silent question. _Was I okay?_ No, I wanted to shout. I'm not alright. This isn't okay.

I couldn't take it anymore.

"I'm getting a soda. Does anyone want anything?" I barely gave them a chance to shake their heads before I jumped up and practically ran to the kitchen.

I opened the refrigerator and stood basking in the relief of the cool air on my overheated skin. I took a few moments to relax my racing heart, rid myself of corrosive thoughts in my mind. I struggled to compose myself into an outer facade of calm.

Reaching into the back I grabbed the can of soda that I didn't really want but needed to keep up the charade. The lie.

An arm snaked around my waist, pulling me back backwards and holding me tight and flush against a warm hard body. My heart beat spluttered again as I lost control on any hint of calm I had possessed.

My eyes fluttered closed and I revelled in the feeling of closeness that I longed for. It felt right. Calm. Home. Soft lips pressed long slow kisses against the back of my exposed neck and my made my body quiver and arch in response.


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

_**Early Summer, ****18 months previously. ** _

"_Oh Bella, again? What this time?" Sue Clearwater asked as I walked up to the front desk at the Emergency department at Forks General Hospital. _

_I held up my hand that was bundled in a dishcloth, indicating the location of my injury. "I tripped and smashed a glass dish. Cut my hand on one of the pieces clearing up."_

'"_Oh, sweetie! Does your Dad know?" She looked at me in sympathy_

_I shook my head. "I tried calling the station but there was no answer, so I left him a note." Sue lived up on the reservation and was also the widow of one Charlie's best friends, Harry, who passed away last year._

"_Do you want me to try the station again for you?" She asked kindly._

_I nodded dumbly at her, suddenly feeling tired and the pain in my palm feeling worse. This had been a tiring day. Scratch that, it had been a tiring month. I don't know what it was but I couldn't seem to focus on anything. I have trouble concentrating when people are talking to me. I even forgot a homework assignment and now my grades are starting to slip. Alice had definitely noticed that I was distracted. Hell, I think even Charlie noticed that I wasn't myself lately. _

_I had been half way through cooking dinner on autopilot as I allowed my thoughts to wander, when I had dropped the dish and then proceeded to slice my palm on one of the shards of glass. _

_And you know what I couldn't stop thinking about? What has me so distracted that everything else pales in comparison? _

_I had been thinking about Edward. And I couldn't stop thinking him ever since he had returned home. _

_Sue handed me a clipboard, "Take a seat and someone will be with you."_

"_Thanks, Sue." I smiled weakly. I turned to make my way over to the waiting area but stopped short at the sound of my name being called._

_I would know that voice anywhere; I would recognise it in my sleep. Hell, I did recognise it in my sleep, since he often featured in my dreams. This can't be happening, I had to be dreaming. But the pain in my hand reminded me that I was, in fact, awake._

"_Bella?" That voice again. I turned around in what felt like slow motion to see Edward standing before me with a look of concern on his face. He quickly took two long strides towards me, "What happened?"_

_I had never seen Edward in action at the hospital. He was so different in doctor mode than the Edward I familiar with. He was wearing a white coat on top of his dark slacks and blue oxford button down. A stethoscope wound around his neck and pens peeking out from the pocket of his coat above his badge completed the doctor stereotype. _

_God, he was gorgeous. His hair was a disarray as usual, his eyes shone with alarm as he looked at me expectantly. I blushed realizing he was waiting for my answer, my body heating up as embarrassment coursed through my veins. _

"_Edward...I mean...Dr. Cullen..." My words caught in my throat as I stumbled to make a sentence, "I- I tripped...my hand...cut it with the glass..." I waved my hand at him lightly as I spoke. God, he must think I'm an idiot. I can't even form a coherent sentence around him. _

_He smiled at me and laughed lightly, although worry still lined his face, "Just Edward is fine, Bella. Come on, let's take a look at it."_

_And with that he led me round to one of the bays surrounded by a curtain and indicated a gurney for me to sit on. I struggled to sit onto it without using my injured hand as Edward was distracted putting on latex gloves. He gently unravelled the dishcloth which was now slightly sticky with my blood. I looked away from the gory cut on my hand and focused on Edward instead. _

_He was so close, warmth radiating from his body. I watched the determined look on his face as he examined my hand._

"_How did you do it?" He asked suddenly, looking for the first time away from my hand and into my eyes. _

"_I dropped a glass dish. I cut my hand on one of the shards."_

"_You should be more careful." His voice was harsh but was betrayed by the look of concern in his eyes. His eyes were deep and darker than usual with no hint of playfulness in them. He busied himself with collecting supplies from a nearby trolley. _

"_It was an accident. I wasn't paying attention." I shrugged then remembered that I should probably stay still._

"_This is going to sting," He warned as he began cleaning the wound. Owww. _

"_You still need to be careful." He said with no further explanation, "It's not too deep. But I'm going to put in a few stitches as it's in an awkward place."_

"_Okay."_

_He began finding more things and then proceeded to prep a syringe and a needle and thread. I looked away again as I felt him steady my hand and inject the anaesthetic. Owww. We waited in silence while the anaesthetic worked its magic. He never looked at me except at my hand. The awkward silence and his proximity was killing me. _

"_Why did you become a Doctor?" I blurted out, unable to stand the silence and needing to distract myself. He glanced up at me confused. _

"_To help people. I like to feel like I'm making a difference," he fired off without looking at me. He prodded at my hand and it become hot and tingly as the numbness spread through it. _

"_I don't believe you."_

"_You don't believe me?" Surprise colored his face, and his eyes flashed at me. Was he mad?_

"_No, I don't. Is that the correct answer according to Dr Carlisle Cullen? I don't want to know why your Dad became a doctor; I want to know why __**you**__ choose to become a doctor?"_

_He stared at me for a long time and something again flashed in his eyes. He shifted before looking back to __my__ hand and poking at it some more._

"_Any feeling here?"_

"_No." I raised my eyebrow at him, he was avoiding my question. He let out a big sigh as he started threading a needle._

"_I like the mechanics of the human body. Anatomy. Fixing problems with science." He paused before continuing, "My Dad always wanted me to be a doctor like him, I used to play doctors when I was a kid. But when I got older I just really liked looking through the medical journals. They were fascinating and that's what got me interested in medicine."_

_I smiled at the far off expression on his face, "Now that sounds more like you.'" _

_He cracked a rare smile at me in return._

"_Did your Dad not want Emmett to be a doctor too?"_

"_No. I think he realized early on the Emmett was not cut out to be a doctor. He makes a good lawyer. And Alice, well, you know Alice. She's a free spirit but I have no doubt that she will be highly successful in whatever career she decides upon...something arty perhaps."_

"_I always thought she'd make a CEO...you know ordering people about."_

_He let out a short burst of laughter and smiled at me again making my heart tighten in response. "Done." He said and I looked down to discover Edward had finished up and fixed a dressing over my hand._

"_Just three stitches. They probably need about a week, keep it dry and change the dressing daily. You can come back in again to get the stitches out or I'm sure Dad will take them out for you."_

_He was looking straight at me now and my heart started fluttering. I shifted uncomfortably._

"_Thankyou, Edward," I said quietly without breaking eye contact with him._

_It was then I realized the position we were in. Somehow, Edward was standing between my legs his hands either side my legs on the gurney, we were leaning towards each other. I could feel his warm breath fan across my face, my heart sped up. It seemed at that moment time stood still, the rest of the hospital ceased to exist. _

_He was so close. I could almost kiss him. My eyes zeroed in on his lips. The look in his eyes told me he was waging some internal battle, the fire seemed to win as he leaned closer to me still. He's gonna kiss me! He was looking at my lips. Please, please, kiss me. _

_And then he stopped. _

_He pulled backwards suddenly, "This is wrong," he whispered coldly. The fire in his eyes burnt out, his tone icy, "I can't do this." _

_He turned and walked away without even a backwards look and my chest erupted with a searing pain leaving me gasping for air. _

_**Present**_

"Edward we can't do this here." My voice sounded weak to my own ears.

He paid no attention to my words. Instead he physically turned me around, pulling me forward and closing the refrigerator door. Taking the can of soda from my hands, he deposited it on the counter before pulling me back into him almost forcefully. His lips found mine and kissed me aggressively. I returned his kisses with equal enthusiasm, reaching up to fist my hands in his silky hair as I deepened the kiss and explored his mouth with my tongue. He pulled me closer to him even still, one hand sneaking its way up to angle the back of my head and the other wrapped around my waist possessively, as he continued to kiss me.

Eventually, I had to break away for air moving my hands down to his back, my chest heaving as I tried to control my heavy panting. Edward did not even pause as he journeyed down my neck, kissing, sucking lightly on my skin. My eyes closed in ecstasy as I bit back the moans in my throat. He continued on his path eventually reaching my collar bone and dipping his tongue into the hollow there.

"Stop, Edward we've got to stop." I moaned as he made his way across my throat, leaving a trail of delicious fire in his wake as he focused his attention on my other collar bone.

"I can't stop." He replied in between kisses, now making his way back up my neck as my whole body quivered at his touch. "Do you have any idea what you do to me?"

"We'll get caught," I responded, groaning lightly.

"Don't care." Came his muffled reply as he buried his nose into the hair at the side of my neck before finding the sweet spot behind my ear. He nipped it slightly, soothing it with his tongue before sucking lightly. Sparks shot straight down to my navel as my whole body started smouldering with passion. He was playing dirty, he knew that was my weak spot and, damn, he was using it.

"You will care when we get caught and my dad forbids me from seeing you." The words came out harsher than I had intended as I channelled the remainder of my willpower and pulled back swiftly. I extradited myself from Edward's embrace and he stepped away.

"I know, I'm sorry, we shouldn't. I just can't help myself..." He ran his hand through his now thoroughly messed up hair, looking remorseful as he leant away from me against the kitchen counter.

I took a step away from him and mirrored him, leaning against the counter opposite him, my breathing still slightly erratic. I looked towards the direction of the lounge; it seemed that no one had missed us.

We could have been caught. This was a dangerous game and I couldn't help but think about the people that we be hurt by our dishonesty.

"Bella?" He face now turned to one of concern, "What's wrong?"

"No...nothing."

He took a few steps forwards and took my hand in his, "Come on. Talk to me. I know when there's something wrong."

I looked down at our entwined hands. His big warm hands, with pale skin and long thin fingers twisted with my smaller hands.

"Bella," he voice was stern and I looked up to see him frowning at me. This was his way of reminding us we were in this together. That he hated it when I kept things to myself. I struggled with the words to articulate the mix of emotions I was feeling until it all just tumbled out.

'It's just so hard, Edward. The pressure is getting to me. I feel so fucking guilty. I'm betraying my best friend. She's done nothing to deserve my deceit, Edward. I just don't know if I can keep doing this...lying to everyone and pretending that I don't want to jump you every time you walk into a room."

My voice had risen as I spoke and I stopped short realizing I had probably said too much. I looked into his eyes as my words sunk in and decided now was the time to get everything off my chest as I remembered the stunt he had pulled earlier on today.

"And that tug-nudgy thing at the football pitch, not cool, Edward, really not cool!"

"Tug-nudgy thing?" He asked confused, stepping back to look down at me.

"You would tug my hair and then I'd squirm and then you'd nudge me with your foot."

"I'm sorry, I was just playing. I didn't realize it affected you that much." He sighed and let go of my hand, running his through his hair again before looking at me. "Look I know this is hard but I thought we agreed?"

"I know, I know. I'm just struggling...the pressure is sometimes too much. I don't understand how you can keep so calm."

"I'm not. Believe me." He chuckled lightly, "Underneath this I'm a fucking mess. I miss you constantly, as soon as I see you I just want to grab you and not let you go. And I hate lying to my family more than anything. But I need you, Bella. I can't not be with you."

I saw the pain in his eyes and realized that this was just as hard on him as it was for me. After all, apart from Alice, I was just lying to Charlie, who, let's face it, doesn't trust me to go to the grocery store without telling him what time I'm going to be back. Edward was lying to his whole family including his sister- my best friend.

I stroked his check, bringing his face closer to mine as I kissed him briefly but lovingly, letting him know I understood. "I know. I'm sorry," I whispered against his lips. He enveloped me with his arms and kissed me again. I could feel his every emotion in that kiss, it was slow and tender. Painfully sweet without leading anywhere.

"Please, Bella...I'm staying tonight. Come to my room later..." He murmured against my lips before burying his face in the crook of my neck.

"I don't know...it's dangerous, Edward."

"We'll be quiet. Please, I just want to see you." He pleaded, pulling back slightly as he looked at me, pouting.

_Damn Cullen pout._ I wanted to. So badly. It had been almost a week since I had been alone with Edward. But it was risky and the chances of being found in his room scared me.

I weighed up the probabilities of getting caught verses the benefits of spending the night with Edward. I would have to sneak out of Alice's room. Edward's old bedroom was only three doors down on the same floor but on the other side of the house. But the things we could do with a whole night. My body burned with an intense longing once again.

The shrill ringing of a phone echoed though the room, followed by rapid footsteps coming in this direction. I felt a wave of terror through my body. Edward jumped away from me just as the footsteps reached the kitchen.

Alice bounded into the room clutching the still ringing phone, holding it out to me, "Phone, Bella. It'll be your dad...'"

I looked at it for a moment, frozen in place as I glanced at Edward. He shot me a pleading glance, waking me up from my funk.

"Thanks, Ally." I flashed her a grateful smile.

"What were you two doing? The movie finished." Alice looked suspiciously towards Edward as I answered the phone and pressed it to my ear.

"Hello?"

My heart seamed to stop beating as I stopped to hear Edward's response to Alice's question. Edward just shrugged casually in response, "Just talking," popping open a soda and taking a long drink. I watched as his Adam's apple bobbed up and down along the long expanse of his pale neck. He finished drinking, lowering his can before subtly liking his lips.

I felt my insides melt as the heat in my lower abdomen began to quiver. Edward smirked in my direction before sloping away soda in hand. He knew he had won. Damn it. A week was a long time, and I guess I would be going to his room tonight. He never played fair.

"Hello? Isabella?" A gruff voice sounded in my ear that I recognised as Charlie's.

"Oh, Hello Dad."

"I hope your behaving yourself at the Cullen's and staying out of trouble?"

"Yes, Dad." Charlie never liked me to elaborate on my answers always preferring a straight yes or no.

"You went to the game?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. Well don't stay up late and make sure your back tomorrow by 11, please."

"Yes, Dad."

"I'll see you tomorrow."

The dial tone rung out before I even had a chance to formulate a response.


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

_**Summer, 2 years ago. **_

_I slipped carefully between the backs of two people who were standing in the Cullen's lounge. I can't believe I had let Alice force me to come to this party. She insisted that I needed to be there to save her from her crazy relatives. And she had made me wear a dress and heels. Hmmph. Looks like she didn't need me after all. _

_A large number of people were occupying the main rooms of the downstairs of the house, but I didn't really know anyone here and nobody paid any attention to a young girl by herself. From the hall I could see through to the kitchen, where Edward, Emmett and Rosalie, and some of Alice's cousins were congregated. Being older they were all drinking and being fairly rowdy. There was no way I was gonna walk in and just start talking to them without making a complete ass out of myself._

_I made my way to the dining room and I slipped out into the garden. It was unusually sunny for Forks, even in late June. There were more people milling around outside but I followed the narrow paved path around the perimeter of the house towards my destination._

_This was my first summer in Forks. School was out and weeks of blank days stretched out before me. Alice was ridiculously excited predicting this would be the 'summer of our lives'. She was busy planning days out to Seattle shopping and almost daily trips to the beach at La Push. I didn't have the heart to tell her that I probably wouldn't be allowed to go on any of them. _

_With the elder Cullen siblings home, Charlie had allowed me some small freedoms. Supposedly Edward and Emmett could be trusted to keep me out of trouble, which leads me to question whether Charlie had ever met the Cullen brothers. Surely leaving me under the custody of two college seniors was not the best of ideas? But I had been allowed to go to the beach and dinner and the movies in Port Angeles with Alice under their supervision since they had been home for the summer. _

_The narrow path ended at the edge of the forest, changing to a dusty track through the dense trees. I cursed these dumb heels that were slowing my progress but after walking for five minutes I finally reached it. _

_It was almost a meadow, but nowhere near large enough. It was not the perfect circle of fairytale meadows. It was more like a small clearing really. Lush waist high grasses filled the small area, and at this time of year a sprinkling of wildflowers were in bloom. On one side underneath a large spruce tree there was a small but convenient wooden bench. I sat down and breathed in the clean and peaceful air. _

_I loved this place. I loved the feeling of total serenity that it evoked. I could cope with my thoughts here it was like Mother Nature made everything clearer. Feeling surrounded by trees and well...green stuff... made me feel better than I had in long time. This was my quiet place. _

_I branch snapping alerted me to a presence in my solace. Looking up I saw a tall figure approaching my hideout. Someone had obviously spotted my disappearing act and I worried that I was going to get into trouble. This was a stupid idea. A dangerous, stupid idea. I was now alone in the woods with an unknown person. _

_As the figure stepped into the dappled sunlight, hints of bronze reflected in his dark hair made me release the breath I had been holding in my lungs. _

_Edward approached the bench handing me a red paper cup full of brown liquid and sat down next to me. He took a sip from his own cup._

"_Are you ok?"_

"_Yeah," I nodded quietly, sniffing the liquid in the cup. Beer._

"_Where's Alice?"_

_I shrugged._

"_She left you on your own?"_

"_She's... occupied," Currently by Tyler Crowley, I added in my head. _

_He frowned, his hand automatically sifting through his hair. I searched for another subject to change the direction of this conversation._

"_I didn't know anyone else knew about this bench." I looked around my surroundings before finally chancing a look in Edward's direction. He was wearing a black button down that made his eyes seem even more green than usual. Everything here was green, he fit right in. _

"_Mom put this bench here for me. I used to spend a lot of time here." His answer surprised me. _

"_Doing what?"_

"_Thinking."_

"_It's a good spot for thinking." I responded after a moment. We sat in silence for a while but it wasn't an awkward silence. We didn't really have to say anything; I think we understood that each other needed some peace._

"_You're not drinking." Edward broke the silence, pointing to the cup he had given me._

"_Charlie doesn't let me drink alcohol." I stated._

"_Ah shit. I forget your age." He ran his hand through his hair once again, before muttering something to himself and taking the cup away from me and setting it on the bench beside him._

"_What do you mean?" I wanted to understand what he was thinking. He looked me directly in the eyes, and I fidgeted under his intense gaze playing with the hem of my dress. _

"_Well, you don't seem 16. You seem older than your years. Wiser." My heart swelled up with pride at his words before deflating._

"_15." I said solemnly._

"_Huh?" His face scrunched up with confusion._

"_I'm 15. My birthday is in September."_

"_Oh." _

_And then we were silent again._

_But this time it was the awkward kind of silence. I looked around the clearing, looking up through the canopy of trees trying to recapture my sense of inner calm I usually found in the meadow. I watched the slight breeze ripple through the tall grass. I looked at the ferns below my feet. I looked in every direction but his. I fidgeted a bit more, knowing that he watching me. _

_Glancing quickly, I could see he was still watching me intently._

"_So Tanya's seems nice." I finally blurted out. _

_He raised an eyebrow with an amused expression on his face, silently asking me if I was serious. He shook his head at me._

_I couldn't help but snort, "What? She's your girlfriend, Edward. Why are you with her?"_

_He laughed sarcastically, "She's the type of girl I should be with." _

_We fell into another awkward pause, as I contemplated the meaning of that statement. Why would he be with someone because he thought that he should? Did he not love Tanya? I couldn't begin to understand Edward sometimes. _

_Swallowing the last of his beer he stood up, "We should get back."_

"_Yeah," I agreed, reluctantly. I think I would have happily sat here with Edward in this awkward silence forever. _

_I stood up quickly, not finding any reason to prolong this and promptly tripped on thin air. It was like slow motion. One moment I was walking toward Edward and the next I had stumbled in on the uneven ground. And all I could think about as I braced myself for impact was Alice and her stupid fucking heels. _

_But it didn't happen. _

_What did happen was a pair of arms darting out to wrap around my waist and pulling me up before my face met the floor. Edward turned me to face him, his hands on my hips keeping me steady on my feet. _

_I looked up at him. He was much taller than me but he was so close. He was so captivatingly beautiful. I could see the flecks of amber in his eyes, the outline of his jaw as he looked back down at me. And I just stood there, unable to speak, unable to look away. His hands still rested on my hips, the warmth radiating into my skin though my dress._

_A different kind of awkward suddenly filled the air. We were paralyzed in this moment, held confined by some unknown electricity that buzzed in the air, surrounding us. It pulled me in, forcing me to lean unconsciously towards him. _

_His eyes flashed, his grip tightened on my waist. I didn't stop. I leaned closer still, slowly reducing the gap between us. His warm breath fanned against my face. I closed my eyes and pressed my lips softly against his. _

_Once. _

_Twice._

_He didn't respond. _

_I pressed my lips against his once more, lingering, moving them slowly until I felt his lips begin to move against mine. Our kiss was slow and tentative at first but it escalated quickly, an underlying intensity radiating. _

_Realization hit me. _

_He was kissing me. _

_Edward Cullen was kissing me. _

_A thrill shot almost painfully through my whole body, igniting my very core. His hands wound around my waist pulling me flush against his body, as I angled my face towards him and reached up to place my hand against his cheek. His tongue darted out to trace my lips and that was all it took to spur me on. _

_I parted my lips, tasting beer as I explored his mouth with my tongue. He responded with a low moan, meeting my tongue with his and probing deeper in my mouth. The passion was intense, I felt light headed but I never wanted this to stop. I couldn't get close enough to him, I felt like I wanted to crawl inside him. _

_I had never experienced a kiss like this. _

_He nibbled on my bottom lip causing me to moan loudly, and then suddenly he was gone. He stood away from me no longer touching me, just staring, almost as if he didn't recognize me. It was still. There was no noise or movement, except for the heaving breaths of my chest. _

_He didn't speak but continued staring right through me, as we stood frozen for an imperceptible amount of time. I didn't know what to do or say. Eventually, I turned away and begun tracing my earlier footsteps on the dusty path. As I reached trees at the edge of the meadow I looked back one final time. Edward was seated on the bench, his head cradled in hands. _

_And I feel bad. Not because I had just kissed my best friend's brother. My best friends attached, older brother. But because my quiet place was no longer my quiet place filled with peace. I had ruined it forever. _

_**The beginning of the summer. Two years ago. **_

_I exited the cruiser onto the crunchy gravel drive, slamming the door shut afterwards for added affect. I was currently not talking to Charlie. Well, not that we really talked in the first place. Internally I was fuming. Outwardly I let my sullen teenage attitude speak volumes. _

_It was the first day of the summer vacation. The very first day of a whole summer of freedom. Except I wasn't free._

_See the problem was that Charlie didn't trust me to be left home alone all day. So his solution was to send me over to the Cullen's so that Mrs. Cullen could keep an eye on me. Now don't get me wrong. Alice is my best friend and I would have spent most of my time hanging out with her anyway. But it was the fact that Charlie felt I needed babysitting that angered me. Mom certainly would never have treated me this way. _

_I stomped up the porch steps to the front door and rang on the doorbell. I heard the cruiser's door open as Charlie got out. The front door opened revealing Mrs. Cullen. _

"_Hi Bella, Charlie," she said, smiling down at me and stepping out onto the porch. _

"_Hi Mrs Cullen," I replied. This wasn't her fault, I reasoned in my head but it didn't stop me feeling somewhat betrayed by her acceptance of Charlie's punishment. _

"_Thanks again for this, Esme." I heard Charlie call out from where he was standing by the open car door._

"_No problem, Charlie. It's good for Alice to have some company."_

"_See you later, Isabella. Be good." I ignored my father's warning and instead walked into the house. I heard Charlie and Mrs. Cullen exchanging goodbyes before Mrs. Cullen followed me into the house closing the door behind her. _

_I stood in the hallway, unsure what to do. _

"_Alice is upstairs getting ready, she just woke up. Make yourself at home, there's orange juice and cereal in the kitchen if you're hungry." Mrs Cullen spoke in a motherly tone. I nodded in response._

"_I'm headed out to the hospital, I volunteer most mornings. But I'll be back around lunchtime." I watched as Mrs. Cullen pulled on her jacket and gathered up her purse and keys. Her motherly actions reminded me of a previous life, one that seemed almost foreign to me now. _

_She paused and gave me a sympathetic look. _

"_I know this isn't easy for you, Bella, but don't be too hard on your Dad. He's doing his best."_

"_I know. Thanks." I smiled. I know I had broken his trust and no matter how much Charlie's new rules and regulations annoyed me I know I deserved it._

_She gave me a small hug. "You're always welcome here any time Bella." _

_Her words warmed my heart and I smiled again as she headed for the door. Before she left she turned back, "Oh, I know you've not met yet, but the boys are around somewhere. They probably won't be up until much later."_

_And then I was left on my own in the Cullen house. I debated going upstairs in search of Alice, but was reluctant to go poking around in someone else's house. And Alice was well known for being moody as hell in the morning, so I decided it was best to wait down stairs until she surfaced. _

_I went into the kitchen and helped myself to a glass of orange juice. Deciding on watching some TV I headed into the lounge. The remote was resting on the coffee table and I grabbed it, switching on the TV which blared loudly._

_A groaning noise came from behind me, followed by some mumbled expletives making me freeze in the centre of the room. I thought I was alone down here? Turning slowly, I gasped in shock. _

_Lying across the sofa was a half dressed man, wearing only a t-shirt and boxers. A shock of auburn hair was sticking up in every direction, his jaw covered in a light scruff. His face was scrunched up and his eyes squinted as he looked at me. He was outstandingly beautiful. Even in his confused just-woken-up state, he was easily the most beautiful man I had ever seen. Alice's brother._

"_Who are you?" He questioned gruffly looking up at me, but not moving from the sofa._

"_Erm...I'm Bella...Alice's friend," I spoke quickly hoping he wasn't angry I was intruding in his home. _

"_Oh god, my head," was the only response I got, as he flung his arm over his eyes. _

_And suddenly this all felt very familiar and I couldn't help but laugh. He shot me a dirty look. _

"_Hangover?" I asked and he nodded dumbly. _

"_Drink this," I said handing over my untouched juice, "Wait here." _

_I went to the kitchen pouring another juice and grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge. I paused and grabbed two Tylenol's from the cabinet where I knew the first aid supplies were kept. _

_When I returned he was sitting on the sofa, now clothed in a pair of dark jeans, looking slightly more awake but obviously feeling very sick._

_He looked surprised by my offerings but murmured, "Thanks," as I handed him the water and pills which he downed. _

_I sat down next to him, hoping I wasn't overstepping the mark. He rubbed the scruff on his chin and then raked a hand through his wild hair. _

"_Sorry, who did you say you were again?" He looked confused, and was staring right at me. His eyes were green. Dark hypnotic green. How did I not notice them before? Oh my god he was gorgeous. _

"_I-Im Bella. Bella Swan. Alice's best friend."_

"_Oh, right yeah. I'm Edward. Alice's brother."_

_Alice's eldest brother. The super smart one. I knew Edward was currently in Med school. _

"_How did you know?"_

_I looked at him, this time I was the confused. _

"_The hangover?" He prompted. _

"_Ah! My Mom...used to drink. I always used to give her OJ and Tylenol the morning after." I paused at the painful memory, "Was it worth it?"_

"_I don't know. Met up with some old friends. Drank more than I intended."_

"_Hence the passing out on the sofa." I laughed. _

"_Yeah." He said, "Didn't want to risk the stairs." He paused. "Hey, Could you not mention this to my parents?"_

"_Um, yeah sure." I mimicked locking my mouth and throwing away the key and then cringed straight away. What an idiot, he must think I'm a freak. But he just grinned crookedly at me._

_Loud footsteps could be heard thundering down the stairs, "Bella!" Alice screeched loudly as she skidded into the lounge. She stopped short when she saw me sitting next to Edward on the sofa. _

_Edward winced, "Woah! Alice, turn the volume down."_

"_Feeling a little delicate are we?" Alice teased back in return. _

"_Yes, Alice." He said standing up. "Well, thanks Bella. I'm going to get some shut eye."_

_He said my name. Oh my god. _

"_Oh...no problem, Edward." I said trying to act casual as I watched him walk away._

"_What was that about?" Alice questioned._

"_What? Oh, nothing."_


	5. Chapter 4

**Lemon alert for this chapter! Just pre-warning you! **

Chapter Four

**_Present._**

I left the Cullen house and made it back home just before 11am. Charlie was already seated in front of the TV, remote in hand, eyes glued to some ball game. I tried to manoeuvre up the stairs stealthily, hoping to avoid being noticed but instead I managed to trip up on the first step. My shins crashed noisily against the step above, my hands went out instinctively to protect my face from the jutted corner of the stair. _Shit._

"Isabella," called a gruff voice from the Lounge. Taking this as my cue, I picked myself up and walked into the room.

He nodded curtly, after a quick glance at the clock, arching one bushy eyebrow and looking at me expectantly.

He had wanted me to be late. He was waiting for the day I would step out of line. Do something wrong.

It was hard to stay strong under his unwavering gaze. I wondered if this technique worked on offenders of the law. A guilty person would surely crack under the pressure.

I stood still. I didn't shift my gaze and tried not to fidget. I concentrated on my regulating my breathing, inhaling slowly and exhaling quietly. I resisted the urge to spill my innermost secrets.

I waited.

I didn't speak. That was the game. If I spoke first it would mean I was guilty. If I was hiding something I wouldn't be able to take the scrutiny. That was the point of this whole exercise.

"What are your plans for the day?" He questioned eventually, still eyeing me warily. I kept my posture neutral and my breathing even, knowing the process was only half over.

"I have an English paper to write and need to catch up on some housework." I kept my tone respectful. My voice was clear and unwavering.

"Good," he looked back at the TV. I took this as confirmation that I had passed questioning and could now leave.

"Isabella?" I looked back, his face softened considerably, "I'm going fishing with Billy tomorrow. Maybe you should visit with Jacob?"

It was in these moments that I was reminded of the Charlie I used to know. The pre-tyrant Charlie that would drag me fishing down to La Push in the summers when I would visit as a kid. When he would buy me ice cream and tuck me into bed at night. I hated lying to that Charlie. But this wasn't that Charlie. This was the almost stranger that monitored and dictated my every move.

"I wanted to get my paper finished tomorrow, Dad. And I need to make a start on some reading for school. I don't want my grades to slip."

It was a feeble excuse but one that was guaranteed to work. Charlie always bought my stories of having homework, never questioning my need to study. He nodded saying no more, focusing back on the ball game and I took the opportunity to slip out of the room.

I kept to my word, spending the rest of the day on mundane household tasks, just as I had told Charlie.

I tidied my room. I cleaned the bathroom till it sparkled. I sorted through laundry. I even cooked Charlie's favourite dinner in an attempt at keeping him in a good mood. I played my part as the dutiful daughter and showed him that I was trustworthy. _Ha._

Chores are mechanical. They require no brain power, no thought process, leaving my mind with too much freedom to wander. And there was really only one place for my mind to wander to. I know he had the weekend off. He was probably at home by now or maybe he was with his family.

My mind kept reliving the moments we had spent together last night. I had stayed awake for hours until the Cullen house had been deep in silence before creeping out of Alice's room. We hadn't spent any time together for over a week. Nine days. It had been heaven to feel his arms around me again. But as soon as he had fallen asleep I crept back to the reality of my cold lonely bed.

I felt the familiar twinge in my heart, reverberating in my chest. I missed him. It was always worse just after, when I didn't know when I would see him next. I wondered if I would still feel this way if I saw him everyday. Or if this whole thing wasn't a secret.

I spent the entire evening completing my homework in my room. I hadn't lied to Charlie when I said I had an English paper to write. But it certainly didn't take as long as I had made out. After a few hours of studying I finished up and took a shower in the shared bathroom, pulling on sweats and a tank once I returned to my room.

I grabbed my hairbrush and began pulling it through my tangled locks when I was interrupted by my cell ringing. My watch told me it was still too early and I made sure I checked the caller ID before answering.

"_Hey Bella!" _

"Jake! Hi!"

"_So I hear the Chief and my dad are going fishing tomorrow, why don't you come up to the rez?"_

I sighed. He was straight to the point. I hated to do this to him.

"Jake...I can't...I have homework to do," I disliked the way the lie sounded on my lips. I was met with a resounding silence.

"_You're going to see him."_ He responded finally, his tone flat.

"No..." I protested feebly.

"_Bella you don't have homework on a Sunday. You're going to see him. Why are you lying to me? Just tell me."_

"Yes." Shame burned through my veins as I spoke the word.

"_He's bad for you Bella. Look what he's turned you into. Sneaking around. All the lying."_

"He... Jake. Please. It's not like that."

"_It's not like that? You're not meeting him in secret for sex? Then what is it like?"_

"You don't understand, Jake." I pleaded.

"_No. I guess I don't."_

The line went dead, the dial tone echoed in my ear and I removed the cell from my ear, ending the call. I stared at the cell in my hand, replaying Jake's words in my head. It wasn't the words so much as the tone he had used. He sounded so…disappointed.

He was hurt even though he _knew_ about Edward and I. What would our families reaction be when they found out? It was Alice's reaction that I feared the most. She would be upset that I had lied. And angry. Understandably so, hell, I would be angry if my best friend lied to me.

I felt the tears slip down my cheeks, as I thought through the many ways I had betrayed my best friend. The secrets. The sneaking around. The flat out lies and the lying by omission. I was supposed to share everything but had kept so much from her. I couldn't tell her about the best kiss of my life. She didn't help me get ready for my first date. I couldn't share my nerves and excitement when I lost my virginity. I didn't want to loose her but I was in so deep that I couldn't find a way reveal the extent of my disgrace.

My cell vibrated in my hand and I peered through my teary eyelashes to look at the caller ID. I smiled at the photo that flashed up on the screen, wiping my face with my hand and answered the call.

"Hello?"

"_Bells!" _His voice boomed, the smooth honey tones sounding slightly slurred.

"Edward?"

"_My Bella." _He repeated loudly, I could hear lively background noise.

"Yeah. Where are you?" I questioned.

"_I'm at a bar. With Em and Rose." _He sighed heavily and suddenly a lot made sense.

"_They made me come out. They said I was being a grumpy old bastard. It's not true is it? Am I really that grumpy? And I'm not even that old!" _His voice became whiney, and I laughed. Drunk Edward was a chatty Edward.

"No, baby. Are you having a nice time?"

"_Not really! Some women kept flirting with me…I said no…I told her to leave… sh-she wouldn't go away. Are you mad at me?"_

I sighed. Drunk Edward, I had discovered having being drunk dialled before, was also brutally honest.

"I'm not mad, honey. Why would I be? You told her you weren't interested."

"_No way am I interested in her. I have you. Please don't be mad?" _His worrying over my reaction to the women flirting with him was sweet but I trusted him.

"It's fine, Edward. I'm not mad at you."

"_Good. I told her I was getting married to my girlfriend."_

"You did?" I blanched internally.

"_Yup. And then she went away."_ He sounded so pleased with himself.

"Edward, you shouldn't have said that! What if Emmett or Rosalie heard?"

He chuckled. "_Nah! They were busy playing pool and making out…I miss you."_

The pang returned to my chest, "I miss you too."

"_I wish you were here. I'd have someone to play pool with."_

"I'm rubbish at pool."

His musical laugh boomed down the phone. "_Yeah, on second thoughts you'd be pretty dangerous with a pool cue."_

"Edward!" I scolded.

"_Sorry, love, but we've already established you're clumsy."_

"Humph." I feigned annoyance.

"_Ahhh, come on Bells…I love you more than… imported beer."_

"Well…I love you more than…chores."

"_Chores? You only love me more than Chores?"_

"Okay…I love you more than…rocky road ice cream…better?"

"_Much better." _He paused. "_Shit. I…ah…I gotta go."_

I heard a loud voice and laughter. "Emmett?"

"_Yeah. I'll…ah….see you soon."_

"Okay. Bye. I love you." I hurried out.

"_You too."_

Once again I sat listening to the dial tone. I sighed, cancelled the call and went about the ritual of removing all evidence of the call from my call log. Leave no sign, no trace.

I sat for a moment pondering the mess I had gotten myself into. I know I was playing a dangerous game and people were going to get hurt. But I couldn't stay away from Edward. I loved him. I _needed_ him and that need over rid every other rational thought. All other logic falls out the window when it comes to Edward.

I sighed. All that was left was to prepare for tomorrow.

* * *

I opened my bleary eyes, trying to work out what was going on. My phone was vibrating quietly on my nightstand and I leaned over quickly to shut off the alarm. Urghhhh 6AM. I sat up in bed and listened to the house around me. There was no snoring coming from Charlie's room, no stomping footfalls on the stairs. I couldn't hear any banging sounds coming from the kitchen.

Slipping from my warm bed, I quietly made my way to the window in the hall. Looking out to the drive I let out a breath in relief when I saw the cruiser was not in its usual space. It was just past daybreak, Charlie was gone and I probably had until after about mid afternoon when he would return.

My heart filled with joy at the thought of nearly a whole day unsupervised. And I knew exactly what I was going to do.

Hurrying into action I returned to my room grabbing the bag I had packed last night and shoving on socks, shoes and a hoodie. Heading into the kitchen I added various food items from the fridge and a last minute addition of Tylenol. Since Edward had been drinking last night it didn't take a genius to work out he would have a sore head today.

Slinging the backpack on my back I exited out the door, carefully locking it behind me. The morning air was fresh and biting, thankfully for once it wasn't raining but I still hurried down the sidewalk to the end of my block. Even though it was ridiculously early for a Sunday morning I couldn't help but look over my shoulder checking to see if I had been noticed.

I walked swiftly, my pace not slowing until I made it to the cover of the trees at the edge of the forest. The path there ran perpendicular along several blocks, starting two blocks before mine and finishing at the block where Edward lived. This path although well trodden, was mostly empty – I rarely met anyone the whole time I had been travelling surreptitiously between the two houses.

Edward's house was the largest and also the last on his block and partially covered by trees. The road finished with a sweeping semi circle and he had one other immediate neighbour- an elderly couple. The house was painted a faded blue with white windows it had a high-pitched roof with rooms in the eaves. There was a small porch with steps at the front of the house, matching the longer porch I knew to be around the back of the house.

Letting myself quietly in the front door with my key, I quietly made my way to the kitchen placing the food from my bag into the fridge. I then crept up the stairs, along the hall the door to where the master bedroom door was resting slightly ajar. I pushed it open slowly, peering around the door to survey the inside of the room.

He was asleep. Laying on his front as usual, one arm cradling his head the other fisted underneath his pillow. His torso was naked where the comforter had bunched down. I stood still, watching him quietly in his sleep for a while.

Moments like this were rare. Even though I could only see his bronze hair and the upper half of his body, he was beautiful. He was adorably rumpled, he looked so innocent in his sleep. Just to be here with him made my heart swell. I could feel all the tension roll away as I made my way over to the bed unconsciously. I was still in wonder at how one person can fill me with such a sense of…excitement… and yet….calm. All at the same time. It's such a fucking cliché but Edward Cullen completes me. When we're together it's just him and me, and I forget the whole world and all the stupidness that comes with it.

I undressed quickly to my underwear and tank, hoping to slip into bed unnoticed but managing to stumble on my discarded sneaker. I landed with my weight heavily on the bed, arms braced to absorb the impact. I paused, holding my breath, hoping that the moment on the bed hadn't woken him.

He shifted turning over, looking up at me through half-opened eyes, not even moving his head from the pillow. I knew he had spotted me, so I swiftly got into bed pulling the comforter up over me. His hands immediately grabbed at my hips, palms warm against my chilled skin and pulled me in towards him.

I wrapped my arms around his head, tangling my legs with his and pressing my cold feet against his, causing him to flinch slightly. His eyes were still closed as he burrowed his face into the hair at my neck, breathing in long sleepy breaths as I ran my fingers through his hair. We stayed curled up into each other, revelling in the closeness of our bodies in a stolen moment of peace that for once stretched out with no immediate time limit.

"How are you here?" He finally mumbled into my shoulder.

I swept my hair over my shoulder so I could see his face clearly, "Charlie's gone fishing."

His face broke into a wide grin and he chuckled a hoarse laugh, before it cut off abruptly as he winced in pain. "Ow."

I broke away from his grasp and slid to the edge of the bed. I searched around in my bag, eventually locating the bottle of Tylenol. Shaking out two pills I motioned for him to sit up, "Here take these."

"You're too good to me." He looked gratefully at me, as he sat up and I handed them to him with the bottle of water on his nightstand.

"I know." I replied with a small smile.

I watched as he threw back the pills, mesmerized by the long lines of his neck and the planes of his bare chest. Edward wore only his boxers to bed and I felt familiar feelings stirring within me as I realized we were in bed together in our underwear.

He handed me the now empty bottle, falling back against the bed, wincing once again. I returned it to the nightstand before curling up beside him once again.

"It's early, go back to sleep." I murmured, looking at him but his eyes were already closed with a half smile on his face. I let Edward's warmth and scent sooth me and as I succumbed to the darkness.

"Mmmmmm…"

It was warm in bed, so warm. I didn't want to get up. My alarm was going to ring any minute and I had school today. I squeezed my eyes closed further, willing myself to go back to sleep. Surely it wasn't time to get up yet. Just a few more minutes…

Suddenly, something touched my skin starting at my neck, tracing my collarbone before moving down to grope my breast, leaving a trail of fire in it's wake.

_Edward!_

I jolted awake, opening my eyes only to look into a pair of amber flecked green ones.

"Good morning," Edward grinned at me glowing. His hair was sticking up in all directions around his head, a scuff covered his chin and dark circles surrounded his eyes, the only evidence of his late night.

"Hmmm…morning," I snuggled in closer to him, breathing in the scent at his neck as he began to stroke my back.

"Care to explain why I was woken up by a women falling into my bed this morning?" I could hear the laughter in his tone.

"It was supposed to be a surprise." I replied grumpily.

"Well…I was certainly surprised…god, you're like the worlds clumsiest intruder." He laughed loudly at his own joke, this morning's earlier hangover long forgotten.

"I'll go then, shall I?" I made to get up out of bed, but Edward tightened his grip on me.

"No! No…" He rolled me into the bed, pressing the full weight of his body into me. "I've got you in my lair…I'm not letting you go…"

"Oh uh…well…what are you going to do with me then?" I fluttered my eyelashes at him, playing along. I arched my back, jutting my hips into him and I felt him grind his erection into my thigh.

He looked at me, fire dancing in his eyes as he raised one eyebrow at me in question. I returned his gaze daring him to do something about it.

"Well…for starters you're wearing too many clothes." He moved suddenly, kneeling over me as he begun peeling off my tank off. Throwing it behind him, he sat back and looked at me hungrily as I lay there in only my panties.

He shock his head, "So, so beautiful."

A small smirk crept up on his face before he launched himself onto me, attacking my lips with passion. I retuned his kisses with equal enthusiasm, my body thrilling at the taste of his soft lips. I nudged my tongue against his lips, and he parted them to allow me entrance. I couldn't help but moan into his mouth a little.

_Shit, I had missed this. _

His lips never left mine, as his hands made their way up my abdomen, and past my ribcage. One hand groped my breast, rolling a nipple between his fingers and I arched my back involuntarily into him letting out a loud moan. I felt him smile against my lips and I kissed him fiercely in return, fisting my hands in his hair and eliciting a low growl in response.

I lost myself in his kisses and his touch. My body felt as if it was on fire, lust coursing through my veins.

We eventually broke apart as I gasped for breath but he didn't remove his lips from my skin, instead making a path down my chest. Replacing his fingers with his lips, he sucked first on one nipple before switching to take the other between his teeth. I shuddered and squirmed underneath him.

But he didn't linger long as he made his way down my torso. He paused to look up at me, one finger resting under the elastic of my panties. The sight of him, his bronze hair between my knees made my body yearn in anticipation. He flashed me his half smirk, fully aware of the affect he was having on me.

"Oh God. Edward. Please." I pleaded, my whole being overwhelmed by the need for him, "_Please."_

He slid my panties down my legs flinging them away from him once more. Kneeling between my legs again, he stoked my folds slowly, pressing down lightly on my clit. He looked up at me, eyes smouldering.

"You're so wet." He murmured reverently before plunging a single finger into me. He set an excruciatingly slow pace, I panted heavily as he thrust.

"Oh god. _Fuck_." I moaned, my body heaving. He continued his pace, speeding up slightly and adding another finger. I could feel myself getting close, the pressure building up almost to breaking point. _More_. I needed more.

I grabbed his hand to stop him, shaking my head. "I need you. _Now_, Edward," I said urgently, looking into his eyes. _Pleading._

"Holy shit, Bells." He gaped at me, before smirking and nodding. "You'll be the death of me, woman."

Reaching over to the nightstand I pulled a condom from the draw and knelt on the bed. Pushing him to lay back I dragged his black boxer briefs down his body as his cock sprang free. I could feel my body tense in expectation, as I rolled the condom down his shaft. Moving myself into position, I looked into his dark eyes as I lowered myself down onto him, we both gasped at the sensation.

I circled my hips as he filled me, eliciting another low growl. I lowered myself down pressing my chest against his as my lips searched hungrily for his. His hands grasped my ass as he set the pace for our lovemaking. I moved against him, my lips and hands touching any part of his silky skin I could reach. I felt like I was surrounded, every touch, taste and thrust felt blissful.

His lips found my neck, as I threw my head back in ecstasy. One hand gripped my ass the other cupped a breast. I was in heaven and I couldn't stop the moans and noises as I rode steadily to my peak.

"Edward, I'm so close."

He picked up the pace, gripping my ass with both hands to thrust himself deeper into me. "Urghh…Bella."

It didn't take long until I was falling into oblivion loudly screaming his name, as I felt him twitch inside me with a final thrust and grunt.

I flopped back down onto him, my body limp and sweaty. I nuzzled my face into his neck as Edward wrapped his arms around me whispering into my ear, "I fucking love you, so much."

"I love you too…more than sex." I responded. Edwards barked a laugh loudly; I could feel his chest vibrating.

After a moment I reluctantly rolled away and Edward disappeared to the bathroom briefly to clean up. When he returned he slipped back into bed, pulling me towards him he wrapped himself around me, pulling the comforter over us.

We lay like that for a while, wrapped up in our own cocoon. Blissfully focusing on nothing but the other as our erratic breathing continued to even out.

"I wish I could wake up like this everyday." Edward spoke first twirling a strand of my hair around his finger, "Thankyou."

I laughed sleepily, "Well…my intentions weren't completely unselfish."

And I suddenly wished with all my might that his statement were true. I too wanted to wake up next to him everyday. Every moment, every breath without him was painful. I hated the reality that I would have to go back to pretending that he almost didn't exist. I let out a heavy sigh.

"I mean it though."

I turned over watching him he was suddenly grew serious. His brow puckered, deep in thought as looked at me like I held the answers to the unsolved problems of the universe. I couldn't comprehend what he was thinking about. My confusion finally gave way and I looked into his eyes questioning.

"I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I'm going to marry you someday, Bella Swan."

As soon as he spoke the words, I knew them to be true. He had said it with so much certainty. I searched his eyes, seeing no doubt only his love for me shining clearly through. He spoke not of hope but of what would one day happen.

"I know." I replied with equal conviction, feeling my love for him radiating out of me. He was my all. My everything. "I'm yours."

He smiled, "I'm yours too. Always."

I couldn't help but beam back at him, before leaning in to press my lips against his softly. We kissed lazily, placing slow kisses on each others lips. I felt Edward's lips trail along my jaw, toward the sensitive spot behind my ear. He began licking and sucking softly, making my body shudder.

"When?" I gasped out.

"Hmmm?" Edward murmured between kisses.

"When do you think we'll get married?"

This kissing stopped. Edward pulled back, looking into my eyes as if to gauge my seriousness. Whatever he saw reflected in my face made him retreat a little before he responded.

"Erm…well…I have another year left of my residency. So I'll be…almost 27 and you'll be 19. I guess by then you'll be at college…"

"UDub."

"Hmmm…yes, if that's where you want to go." He paused, watching my reaction before continuing on uncertainly, "I could move up to Seattle. I have some contacts at a hospital up there, I'll get a job and we can get an apartment together. And then we can get married. Whenever, where ever you want."

I paused processing what Edward had said. It sounded good. No more secrets or lies. It sounded like _heaven_.

"I'd want to get married here in Forks."

"Why?" He gave me a confused look, moving away from me to gauge my reaction but his eyes showed a glimmer of hope.

I shrugged, "It's where we're from. I like it here. Our families are here. It would be easier."

This time Edward paused, thinking.

"Yeah, you're right. I like it here too. We should move back here after Seattle, maybe when we have a family?" He questioned.

I thought about having a family. Little boys running around a yard with Edward's hair and bright green eyes as we looked on. The thought of having Edward's children made my heart flutter. But at not even 18, I knew I wasn't ready for that yet. But it was definitely something I wanted with Edward, one day.

"Okay."

He laughed at me, his eyes twinkling down at me playfully. "We've just planned out our future and you just say okay?"

"Yes. Okay. I just want to be with you, Edward. I want all the same things you want. I know I'll marry you, someday. One day in the future I want all those things. I want them with you."

He grinned widely and laughed, "Okay, then"

I wriggled free from his grip and hopped out of bed, "Come on. We need a shower."

"_We_?"

"Yes. _We_ need a shower_._ And then I'll cook you breakfast before I have to go."

* * *

**Hope you like it. If you're reading this it would be great if you could please review and let me know what you think. ~ Bill xx **


	6. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

_**Present**_

**Monday **after school, I got home to find a Volkswagen rabbit parked outside the house. As I pulled my truck into park on the small driveway, the car door opened and Jacob's tall frame unfolded. Cutting the engine, I grabbed my backpack and stepped out of the cab.

He was immediately there, holding the door open, one hand jammed in his jeans pocket.

"Bells, Please. I'm sorry..." His expression pleading as he blocked my path.

"Save it, Jacob. I've heard it all before...," I shot back, stepping around him and up the porch steps towards the house. As I fumbled to open the front door I could hear my truck door slam close and heavy footsteps behind me. When the door eventually swung open I turned around and confronted him.

He towered over me, his long dark hair pulled back as always, his tanned skin glowing in the pale sunlight. His usually friendly expression looking grim, his brow was scrunched up, lips pursed as he scowled in frustration. I'd lost time of the number of times we'd had this same argument and was tired of it.

"I don't need this Jacob. Please, not from you. Do you think I like my life this way?"

"I am sorry, Bella. I really am. I shouldn't have spoken to you like that." He looked contrite for a moment before he continued on.

"I just don't like the way he treats you." He paused, kicking at some dust on the ground, "If he loved you as you say he does, you wouldn't have to sneak around all time behind everyone's back."

I sighed, closing my eyes briefly trying to keep it together. "He does love me, Jake, but it's just not as simple as that."

"So you keep saying." He responded.

"I know you don't agree with it. I've put you in an awkward position and I'm sorry for that.

"But you're my oldest friend. My Mom's gone. Charlie is never going to understand, and Alice...I've no idea how she's going to react. I need your support. Please, you're the only one who knows...the only one apart from Edward that I can trust with this."

"I would never tell anyone, Bella." He smiled sadly at me, "I just worry about you. You're one of my best friends, Bella. I feel like I never see you any more. "

I looked at the man in front of me, remembering the little boy I had made mud-pies with the summer I was six and the boy who had taught me to ride a bike when I was nine. It was hard to imagine a future scenario in which we weren't friends. I stepped forward, reaching up to throw my arms around his shoulders, as he pulled me in for a hug. I breathed in his musky scent and closed my eyes thankful for the blessing of this friend in my life.

"Stay for dinner?" I asked stepping back again, "It's enchiladas?"

He grinned widely in response and I turned, walking into the house, glad that at least one part of my life wasn't an uncertainty.

* * *

**Wednesday **at school, time seemed to drag. I hadn't seen Edward since Sunday as he'd been working a 20 hour shift. Yesterday I had occupied myself by baking cookies – peanut butter chocolate chip– and sneaking out to leave some in the cookie jar at Edward's house as a surprise.

Currently, I was trying to think up an excuse for Charlie, to get out to see Edward. _What I said I was visiting with Jacob? _No, he wouldn't buy that, I saw him two days ago. _Studying at the library?_ Possible, but I'd have to think up a school project or some plausible homework. _Grocery shopping? _Would definitely work, but doesn't give us much time...

"Bella!" I heard my name being called over the din of the cafeteria and looked up from my sandwich to see Alice staring at me, "I've been calling your name for, like, ages."

"Sorry, what were you saying?" I focused on her, feeling guilty I had been day dreaming and trying to banish all thought's of Edward from my mind.

"You're still coming over tonight, right? To plan for your party." She looked hopeful and excited.

Alice had persuaded me into letting her host an 18th birthday party for me. It had taken months of nagging on her behalf and she had eventually gotten her parents involved- Dr Cullen asking Charlie's permission and Mrs Cullen twittering on about important life milestones before I had finally relented, with certain conditions. Birthday's were not my thing but if it made Alice happy then it was fine by me.

"Err...of course...but isn't it a bit soon to start organising the party?" My stomach gurgled and I took a bite of my sandwich, chewing slowly and swallowing.

Alice shot me a confused "Huh, no...Bella...your birthday is in two weeks,"

"What!" I blanched, as my stomach flipped a couple of somersaults. Suddenly my lunch looked really unappealing. _Two weeks?_ Reaching into my hand into my backpack I grabbed my diary and started flipping through pages until I found the current week. Turning two week pages, there it was. My birthday date circled in balloon's and streamers, drawn months ago by Alice.

"Wow," I muttered, "Where has all the time gone?"

"I know!" Alice exclaimed, "There is so much to do! I've had the invitation's printed, so we just need to write up a guest list...and we need to write a list of food and drink...and I was thinking..."

I listened patiently to Alice for the rest of the lunch period as she talked about the party and wondered how time had gotten away from me so fast.

* * *

_**Fall, 6 months ago.**_

_I cradled the phone between my shoulder and ear, as I quietly closed my bedroom door. _

"_Okay...I can talk now," I told the person on the other end of the phone._

"_Hello," He spoke breathlessly, "I miss you."_

"_I miss you too," I responded, shyly. _

"_Can you come meet me? Tonight?" He asked giddily. My heart soared at the possibility and then dived again at the implication. I considered the trouble I would be in if I got caught._

"_Edward..." I sighed, "I...I can't.." _

_It was all so confusing. I loved him. More than anything. But I was unsure about some many things. Did Edward feel the same? To me being together felt so right, yet at the same time it was so wrong. Meeting in secret for the past 8 months, lying to my family, his family, my best friend, I don't know how long this was going to continue. _

"_Please, Bella... it's important," he begged. I'm sure had we been face to face he would trying to win me over with his silly pout._

"_I have school tomorrow." It was a feeble excuse. A way out. _

"_Please, I have to show you something." His voice was quiet, the sadness in it nearly broke my heart. _

_I sighed once again, resigned, "I'll try." _

"_10.30? On the corner?" _

"_Yeah. Okay." _

"_See you then." _

"_Bye," I replied, hanging up and automatically began wiping any evidence of the call from my call log. _

_That night after Dad had said goodnight and I laid in bed, still dressed in sweats and a hoodie, in wait. As the clock ticked, I listened in stillness to the near silence of the house, until it was finally time. I made my way carefully downstairs and out the back door slinking out into the darkness. As I reached the corner of my block, I could make out a figure pacing back and forth in the darkness, under the canopy of trees._

_He looked up as I approached, a wide smile transforming his face as he made his way over to me and pulled me swiftly into his arms. I melted into his tight embrace, revelling in the warmth and comfort his arms brought me. I could feel his cold nose buried in my hair as he took deep breaths of my scent. After a lingering moment, he released me, grabbing my hand and entwining s=ourfingers as he pulled me along. _

"_Where are we going?" I asked, studying him carefully. _

_He grinned impishly at me, pausing to place a swift kiss on my lips, "You'll see." _

_We continued walking in silence, enjoying the night. His thumb rubbed slow circles on my hand as we walked at a rapid pace. After a few blocks, we took a left and turned onto a small street. I looked at Edward, confused but he just smirked in response and shook his head. _

_Right at the end of the street we stopped, and I looked around. The street was full of small houses, each house slightly different to its neighbour. I looked again at Edward and saw him looking at the house we had stopped directly in front of._

_He nodded towards the house, "What do you think?"_

_In the darkness I could just make out the faded blue paint of the clap board and what was once white windows. It had a high-pitched roof with rooms in the eaves. Through the overgrown yard I could see a small porch at the front of the house. It was very neglected but had the potential to be beautiful. _

"_It's...nice," I answered finally, unsure how to responded and still wondering what it was that was so important that Edward wanted to show me. His gaze moved to the other side of the yard and I noticed the advertisement board slightly hidden by the undergrowth. Suddenly, things clicked into place. _

"_Are you going to buy it?" I asked, slightly bewildered. _

"_I don't know," he smiled, "Come on." _

_Pulling my hand again, he made his way through the yard and around the side of the house. _

"_We can't go around there," I protested, trying to tug my hand back. _

"_It's okay," He pulled on my hand once again, "The house is empty." _

_We walked hand in hand up onto the porch, and he released my hand to sit on a wooden swinging chair. Wandering over to the windows, I cupped my hand against the glass and peered into the darkened rooms. I could just about make out a large kitchen, one that would have enough room for a table and felt excitement well up inside me. Moving over to the window on the other side of the back door, I could see another empty room. A dining room, a study perhaps?_

_Moving back to sit next to Edward on the swinging chair, he put his arm around my waist pulling me into him. Silence prevailed as we sat looking out into the back yard, my mind all the time wondering about when he could mean by bringing me out here. _

"_I didn't know you were thinking about buying a house," I eventually spoke. _

_He turned and looked into my eyes searching. There was that same look in his eyes, as always, something bubbling under the still green surface. _

"_I was thinking of investing some of my trust fund. My financial advisor suggested I build up a property portfolio. It makes sense- I need a place to live, I don't want to live with my parents forever." _

_I nodded dumbly at him, not knowing what to say. He blurted out suddenly, "I love you, Bella." _

_I sat motionless, frozen in the moment. _

_I had told him right from the start, shown in him repeatedly in numerous ways. He had responded in kind, sometimes with a look, a touch. But never with words. It was almost as if didn't want to admit to himself his love for me. But something had changed. I couldn't the smile off my face as realization set in. He loved me. _

_I leaned over to kiss him tenderly, responding quietly,"I love you, too." _

_His smile light up his face and he leaned in, once again placing his lips over mine. After kissing for a few moments, he pulled back and I watched him gaze at me, until his face slowly clouded over. _

"_What?" I asked, my hand reaching up to stroke his cheek, his eyes avoided my gaze. _

"_I feel so selfish. I want you so much, but you shouldn't love me. You've got so much of your life to still live. Your going to go away for college...I don't want to hold you back," He sighed and picked up my hand to play with my fingers. _

_I shook my head in disagreement, "You're not holding me back."_

"_I already am, Bells." _

"_Edward..." I protested, but he continued to speak on. _

"_I shouldn't be treating you this way. We have to meet in secret, we can't tell our families for fear of their reactions." His voice was hard, his eyes pierced mine. He ran his hand through his hair. "You should be able to bring your boyfriend home to meet your Dad, Bells." _

_I snorted at that thought, "Charlie would never accept any boyfriend I brought home."_

"_Maybe." His lips turned upwards in a small smile. "We're going to have to tell them eventually."_

_I sat quietly processing this thought. He was right of course. We were playing a dangerous game and if we weren't careful then we could be found out at any time. The longer we left it the worse it was going to get. _

"_On my 18__th__ birthday." I said decisively, but looking at Edward unsure, "It's six months but I'll be an adult officially then. That way Charlie can't stop me seeing you."_

_He stared out at the yard once more, deep in thought. "Are you sure?"_

"_Yeah." The more I thought about it the better being out in the open sounded. "Alice is going to hate me." _

"_You're more worried about Alice's reaction than your fathers?" Edward chuckled._

"_Charlie's reaction is predictable- he will get angry and he'll probably try to ground me. Alice is my best friend, and your her brother. She's going to be hurt."_

"_I need to be sure," He paused, "Are you sure you still want to do this?"_

_I spoke slowly, deliberately, looked deep into his eyes. "I want you Edward. We can't be apart." _

_I was now able to recognise the warmth intensity in his gaze and wondered if he could see the same in my eyes when I looked at him. _

"_I know. I love you so much. So so much."_

"_I love you." I responded as he peppered my face with kisses. _

_We sat in peace for a while holding each and I basked in the blissful feeling of belonging. All the feelings of uncertainty had now gone, we were in this together no matter what happened. _

"_I want to live in this house with you. Some day." He looked down at our now entwined fingers,"I want it to be our home."_

"_Really?" I smiled at the thought. _

"_Yes." His voice spoke with certainty. _

"_Dr. Jenkins thinks I have trouble with adjusting to change and accepting the future. He wants me to start making some plans for the next few years. I...I think I want to be a teacher. Maybe " _

'_Yeah?" Edward turned to smile at me broadly, "I think you'd be a really good teacher"._

"_I was thinking about U-Dub; they have a really good education program."_

"_But what about going somewhere different for college?" He frowned._

"_Edward, I spent years with my Mom, moving around from place to place. I just got settled here. I have family here now and friends." My voice tailed off, "I don't want to be on my own again."_

_He pulled me tightly into his side and kissed the top of my head, "Property prices are on the up in Seattle. Maybe I should invest in something up there?"_

"_Maybe," I laughed, smiling. "I like this house though. It has a nice vibe."_

"_A nice vibe?" Edward chuckled. _

"_Yes."

* * *

_

_**Present.**_

I had spent the afternoon party planning with Alice...well, watching Alice party plan. The whirlwind had pretty much organised the guest list, the food list, the music list. Not that I minded, I just enjoyed spending some time with my best friend before everything was out in the open. _Two weeks._

At the party Edward and I had decided that we would reveal our relationship. To say I was scared was perhaps an understatement. I was convinced it was going be a disaster- that Alice would hate me and Dr and Mrs Cullen would throw me out. There were so many ways I could envision it going horribly wrong but at the same time I was looking forward to it. If thinks went ok... Alice's enthusiasm was infectious and I Edward would finally be there as my official date. No more hiding.

I had been invited to stay for dinner at the Cullen's, which was always an enjoyable experience for me. It was a completely different affair than with Charlie. Our usual dining experience consisted of Charlie shovelling his food down his throat, whilst I stayed quite. The Cullen's actually communicated...it was interesting to see how a normal family interacted.

I took my place at the table as Dr. Cullen entered into the dining room, greeting Mrs. Cullen with a kiss and seating himself at the head of the table.

"Hello, Alice, Bella," he smiled at each of us, as he unfolded his napkin, "How was school?

Mrs. Cullen began serving up a spanish-style chicken dish onto plates, passing one out to each of us.

"Fine" Alice responded at the same time I said "Good, thankyou," earning a chuckle from the Doctor that was reminiscent of Edward's laugh and making me miss him.

"And how's the planning going for the big party, Bella?" I asked as Mrs. Cullen handed him his plate.

"Great!" Alice piped up.

"I'm really looking forward to it," I said truthfully, taking the plate from Mrs. Cullen, "Thanks. And thankyou for hosting the party...it's really nice of you to put yourselves out like that..."

"Nonsense. It's not a problem at all." Mrs. Cullen responded, looking kindly at me, "We've known you since you were born. We both think of you like a daughter. You're know you're welcome to treat our home as your own."

"Your always more than welcome here, Bella," Dr Cullen added.

I blushed at the praise, looking down at my plate and muttered my thanks.

"And in another year you kids will both be off to college and then you're mother and I will finally have the house all to ourselves," Dr. Cullen said with a wink in my direction.

"Dad!" Alice exclaimed in mock indignation.

Mrs. Cullen simply smiled at her husband, "Help yourself to vegetables, everyone."

As we began tucking into dinner, Alice continued the earlier conversation, "We're going to hand out the party invites tomorrow and we've made list of food, drinks and decorations. Oh! And Bella and I are going into Port Angeles on Saturday to find outfits for the party."

"We are?" I said, thinking back to when I had agreed to this plan.

"Yes, Bella." Alice scowled at me, "What is up with you today? You've been off in your own world all day."

"I...errr..." I struggled to think up a response but was interrupted by the sound of the front door and footsteps along the hall, accompanied with a shout of "Hello?"

My heart sped up and begun beating heavily in my chest. _What is he doing here?_ I looked down at my dinner, my stomached churning making me feel suddenly nauseous. But I could help but smile despite myself, as he entered the room. He was dressed casually in faded jeans and his favourite t-shirt- a souvenir from a Kings of Leon concert he went to last year.

"Edward!" Dr. Cullen stood as he entered the room, clapping his son on the back, "Day off?"

"Yeah," He responded, "Figured I would stop by."

Mrs. Cullen looked at Edward, confused, "I thought you had plans, dear?"

"Nice to see you too, Mom." He replied, stooping to kiss her on the cheek, "My plans fell through at the last minute." He looked sideways at me with a slight smirk and I narrowed my eyes at him in warning. "Enough for one more?"

"Of course, let me get another plate," Mrs. Cullen began to stand up but Edward interrupted her.

"It's okay, Mom. I'll go," he said striding towards the kitchen, pausing to ruffle Alice's hair on the way past earning him a goran in response.

In a moment he had reappeared with another place setting, piled some food on his plate and settled down into the seat directly opposite me. As he hungrily ate his food, under the table, his legs were extended, feet tangled with mine, effectively pinning mine down. I shot him a look, warning him again but he just smiled and ignored me and turned to Alice.

"How's school going, little sis?" He questioned messily, through a mouthful of mashed potatoes.

"Oh my god, you're disgusting! Mom,tell him," Alice whined. I couldn't help but smile at their teasing of each other.

"Kids," Mrs. Cullen silenced them with a cautionary tone, resulting in Alice scowling at a grinning Edward.

Dr. Cullen simply rolled his eyes at his children's antics and begun questioning Edward about a patient at the hospital. I spent the rest of dinner listening quietly to the dinner conversation only commenting here and there, as necessary. Edward's feet stayed entwined with mine throughout the meal, and I couldn't help but sneak glances at him every now or then. A couple times our eyes had met, and I couldn't help but feel flushed under his gaze.

Once I had helped Alice clean the dishes after dinner, I gathered my stuff to head home in time to make my 9 o'clock curfew. I thanked Dr and Mrs. Cullen before Alice accompanied me to the door, still discussing our plans for the weekend.

"Don't forget to ask Charlie about Saturday? Okay?" She pressed.

"I won't," I reassured her.

"What's Saturday?"

Edward appeared suddenly walking down the stairs.

"We're going shopping in Port Angeles for outfits for the Bella's birthday party," Alice replied.

"Ahh_." _Edward looked thoughtful before turning to question me, "Are you leaving, Bella?"

"Erm, yeah." I nodded in response, fumbling with the tangled straps of my backpack, "School night, you know."

My bag slipped out of my fingers, crashing to the floor. In the same moment I reached down, Edward had stooped and scooped it up.

Reaching forward to return it to me, he muttered quietly, "I'll call you later..." with a last longing look.

"Yeah..." I breathed unconsciously, taking the bag from him and spoke a little louder, "Thankyou."

"See you at school tomorrow, Alice."

I flashed them both a brief smile before I left.

* * *

Later that night, I sat staring at my cell willing it to ring. It was getting late and he still hadn't called. I was flicking aimlessly through a book when I finally heard the tell-tale vibrating of my cell. My heart leapt as I hurried to answer it, without looking at the caller ID.

"Hello?"

"_Bella!"_ An expectedly high-pitched voice on the other end replied.

"Oh...Alice!" I spluttered out.

"_Wow, don't sound to enthusiastic." _

"Ah..sorry." I apologized without explaining myself. Alice had begun to notice that I was acting different recently – distracted, overly tired, jumpy- but had never said anything. The nerves were really starting to get to me and I just knew once of these days she was going to call me out on my behaviour.

"_I know its late and I don't want to get you into trouble with Charlie..."_

I sighed in relief, knowing that Alice had chosen to let it go. "It's okay. What's up?"

"_What did Charlie say about Saturday?"_

'Alice...'

"_I'm sorry! I know I'm being bossy again, but it's been ages since we did something together, just me and you. We could do with a girl's day, you know. Shopping, lunch, maybe even a manicure?" _

I smiled. Alice was a great best friend, always there for me. And look how I had treated her in return.

"Well, Charlie agreed. So I guess I'm all yours,"

I held the phone away from my ear as Alice let out a characteristic squeal, making me chuckle. I was looking forward to a girl's day with Alice, but her comments made me think that maybe I had been neglecting her recently. I tried to rack my brains, thinking of the last shopping trip we had been on.

"Surely, it hasn't been that long since we went shopping?" I asked, confused, "We went to Port Angeles the weekend before last."

"_Check your diary." _Alice responded, as I pulled my trusty diary from my backpack, "It was more than 3 weeks ago. Remember, I got that purple jacket and you dragged me into the bookstore for, like, ages..."

I lived and died by my diary. It was well known by Alice that I was completely scatterbrained, a trait I had inherited from my Mom. I flipped through the pages of my diary, as Alice reminded me of our last shopping trip. I located the page of the last time we had gone shopping and Alice moved on to describing the clothes we had both tried on as I listened absently.

Listening to her descriptions and I looked over the weeks events and homework assignments and noticed the red stars on the dates of that weekend. _No, that can't be right._ I furrowed my brow trying to remember back to that weekend, but my mind drew a blank.

"Huh that's strange."

I flipped back a few pages, searching the pages, before turning back to that weekend and inspecting the dates once again. I then flipped forwards a few weeks, stopping to look at the diary entries of next week.

"_What's strange?"_ Alice's voice broke

"Oh, nothing. But you're right, it's was ages ago. " Inside, my heart filled with dread and my stomach suddenly lurched as I stared absently at the diary.

_No, it can't be...it can't!_

"_I'm always right_," Alice replied flippantly, "_Anyway, have you done that Calculus homework yet? I bet you have...what did answer for Question 3..."_

Alice's voice continued to be a blur in my ears, as I flipped back the pages and began counting the days a second time.

"_And you should totally wear your blue shirt to school tomorrow. I overheard Jessica tell Lauren in the cafeteria that Mike was planning on asking you out...I think you two would look so cute together."_

I came up with the same answer again. _Oh, god._

I begun thumbing furiously through the pages but not really looking at them, not paying attention to anything but the feeling of blind panic that had spread through my entire body.

Alice's voice rung out, _"What do you think? Bella, you still there?" _

'Sorry, Alice. Spaced out.' I managed to croak out, my voice unsteady.

"_Are you sure your okay, Bella? You've been pretty distant today, is something the matter?_"

'I'm sorry. I just haven't been feeling quite right lately. Maybe I'm just tired - I'll see you tomorrow at school?'

I fumbled out an answer and barely heard her respond with, '_Sure. Night, B,'_ before I hung up, throwing my cell onto my comforter.

I flicked slowly through the pages of my diary one final time, trying to keep calm and counting up in my head yet again. I released the diary from my grip and curled up into a ball on top of the comforter.

_Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. _

My period was late. 42 days late.

I was over 3 weeks.

The cell lying beside me begun vibrating and I pulled it towards me to look at the screen. The familiar smile was looking back at me but offered none of its usual comfort.

I pressed the reject button.

* * *

**What do you think? Reviews would be great! xx**


	7. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

_**Summer, 1 year, 2 month ago. **_

_I stood motionless at the foot of the staircase, the party swirling around me. The tall blond haired boy and Alice's slight form slipped out of my sight at the top of the stairs. Music was blaring out from speakers, and there were people everywhere. A mass of bodies were moving in time to the music on a makeshift dance floor in the centre of the living room. I wondered if Alice actually knew all these people, whether they knew we were in fact celebrating Alice's sweet 16. Some people were lounging around in other room, eating from paper plates loaded with party food. Most had in their hand a colored paper cup filled with punch, now probably heavily spiked. _

"_Hey, Bella," Mike newton appeared in front of me, favouring me with a cheesy grin, "You're looking good."_

_Blonde hair spiked up, he was dressed in a black shirt and slacks. I wrinkled my nose in disgust as I was assaulted with the strong smell of aftershave. His blue puppy dog eyes leered at me, looking me up and down in the dress Alice had coerced me into wearing. If I hadn't felt uncomfortable before in the navy blue babydoll dress and heels, I certainly did now. The dress stopped mid-thigh and I had never before felt so exposed, my skin crawled. _

"_Er..thanks," I responded politely, before turning quickly on my heel and walked away, muttering, "Excuse me." _

_Passing swiftly through the living room, I was passed by Angela and Jessica beckoning me from the dance floor._

"_Bella!," Angela called with a pleading look, "Come and dance with us!" _

"_Later!" I called back, "I'm going to get a drink." I pointed towards the kitchen and they nodded in acknowledgement._

_I really had no intention of dancing. It wasn't that I disliked it, it just left you so...vulnerable. _

_I began to make my escape through to the kitchen, passing by two boys leaning against the wall and drinking beer that I'm sure were seniors. As I walked past, one grabbed my arm, sneering, "Not going to dance for us this time, sweetheart?" _

_My face flamed as they burst into loud laughter and I shrugged off the hand, finally making my way into the crowded kitchen. _

"_Belly!" I sighed in relief as the familiar booming voice called out my name. Dr and Mrs were very relaxed about when it came to letting Alice throw a birthday party each year...with two conditions. Namely, Edward and Emmett. Their reasoning was apparently that Alice was going to drink under age whether they knew or not, they just preferred for her to do it in a safe environment. And so they let Alice have the house for the evening on the condition that Emmett and Edward were there to supervise. They couldn't be more polar opposite than Charlie. _

_I carefully made my way around the bodies, towards where Emmett was standing behind the kitchen counter loaded with various bottles. _

"_Hey, Emmy," I grinned as he threw his arm around my shoulder, adding sarcastically, "Having fun?"_

_He snorted, "Yeah, like babysitting a bunch of 16 years olds is fun,"_

"_Hey!" I protested, elbowing him lightly in his stomach. _

"_I didn't mean you, Belly. You don't count."_

"_Thanks."_

"_Hmm...so where's Alice?" Emmett questioned searching around the room, "I thought you two were attached at the hip?"_

"_Apparently not." I avoided his gaze, knowing full well that Alice was upstairs with the tall blonde haired guy...Jasper, that was his name. Jasper. _

"_This isn't your kind of thing is it?" Emmett smiled kindly, looking down at me. Was I that transparent? _

"_Not really." _

"_Come on Belly, I'll make you one of my killer cocktails."_

"_You know I can't drink, Emmett."_

"_Can't, or won't?" He responded cheekily before adding lightly, "Just joking! I'll make it a virgin cocktail" _

_I watched while Emmett mixed together various sodas, juices and what I think was coolaid to make my drink. He was just adding a straw and a bunch of those tiny little umbrellas when a deep voice called, "Em!"_

_My heart sped up involuntarily, as I looked up to see him walking towards us, carrying a nearly full trash bag. He was taller then most of the occupants in the rest of the room, his distinctive hair making him recognizable as Alice's older brother. A legendery Forks high alumni, he was older than the high school students here exuded cool but it wasn't that that made my pulse race. _

_He paused as a couple of girls stopped to put their empty cups in the bag he was carrying, smiling politely at them as they fluttered their eyelashes at him. As he walked away they broke into giggles, obviously whispering about him. _

_Edward rolled his eyes as he walked towards us and then noticing me, his demeanour suddenly cooled. _

"_Bella," he muttered indifferently in greeting. I said nothing in return, clutching my drink and looking down at my feet trying to control the pain threatening to well up from my chest. Why was he being like this? _

"_Hey bro," Emmett seemed oblivious to the interaction, "Want a drink?" _

"_Yeah," he replied wearily, "I have no idea why I do this." _

"_I know," Emmett chuckled easily._

_I eventually looked up from my drink to see Mike newton enter the room, "Shit!" I gasped, looking around for an escape route but realizing there was no where for me to go. _

_In desperation, I flung myself onto the floor behind the kitchen island, my back against the cupboard. Edward and Emmett's shocked expressions soon turned to confusion, as I put one finger in front of my lips pleading with them silently._

"_Have you seen Bella?" I could hear Mike's whiney voice ask, although he was out of my line of sight. _

_Emmett looked down smirking at me, before turning back to face Mike, his face etched with sincerity. _

"_Not recently. Hey, Edward, have you seen Bella?" _

_Edward stared fiercely at Mike, uttering a forceful, "No"_

"_Sorry, man." Emmett gave him a polite smile, his face contorting with held in laughter until he suddenly exploded and I couldn't help but laugh along. Edward stood frowning looking between Emmett and me, finding no humour in the situation. Every time I began to sober up, I would share a look with Emmett and I would start laughing again._

"_What's so funny?" Alice appeared in view, "Bella...why are you on the floor?" _

"_Erm...no particular reason." Alice was suddenly looking down puzzlingly at me as I sat giggling helplessly._

"_She was hiding from Mike Newton." Emmett got out between his guffaws. _

"_That kids a total douche," Edward spoke up, "He only wants into Bella's pants,"_

_Emmett continued laughing but I quieted, immediately floored by the venom in Edward's voice. Not knowing quite what to say I looked away, "Well..."_

"_Come on, you promised to dance with me." Alice rolled her eyes at her brothers and held out her hand to me, pulling me back up to my feet. As I was dragged away I looked back to see Edward's gaze following me._

_Out on the dancefloor we began dancing in a group with Angela and Jessica. It was awkward at first...the only time I had danced like this I had been somewhat intoxicated...okay, I had only danced like this when I was really drunk. But as I loosened up I closed my eyes and began to feel the beat of the music pulsing through me. I swayed my hips in time to the music, running my hands through my hair as I moved my body from side to side. _

_Opening my eyes again, I saw him. He was leaning motionless against a wall, beer in hand. I continued dancing, holding eye contact but his gaze never wavered from me. As he watched me his face was a picture of concentration, a hint of a smile playing at his lips. The song track changed to a faster beat and I sped up my movements, placing my hands on my hips and then twirling around slowly with my arms above my head. _

_Edward was sporting a sexy smile when I turned to face him again, and I smiled shyly in response before the smile suddenly dropped from his face. I felt momentarily confused until I felt two damp hands clamp onto my hips and I was surrounded by a cloud of aftershave. I looked over my shoulder and came face to face with Mike Newton. Turning slightly to my left, I could see a grinning Alice and Angela who were motioning me to dance. I shrugged my shoulders and continued dancing to the beat. Mike's hands were firmly fixed to my hips and I could feel him moving behind me. _

_Edward had moved from his position leaning against the wall, his beer clutched tightly in his hands as he stood glaring at me. What was he doing? He had no right to look like that. Somebody might see. _

_I felt Mike's arm snake around my waist and he pulled me closer towards him. I fought against the urge to shudder and moved once again to the beat of the music._

_After a while a was barely dancing to the music, standing trapped by the force of Edward's icy stare whilst Mike's hands travelled my body lightly groping me. All the while Edward stood in the corner of the room and starting directly at me with a look of pure disdain. _

_I didn't want this. _

_I felt dirty as Edward watched me dance with this boy, letting his hands touch my skin. A bad feeling settled in my stomach as Mike's hands became insistent and he began stroking my abdomen, holding me heavily as he ground his hips into my ass. Was that?...No!...No. _

_Oh god! _

_I shrugged out of Mike's embrace and move off the dance floor, past Edward, without even a backwards glance. I made my way towards the downstairs bath that was miraculously empty. Breathing heavily, I splashing cold water on my face as I tried to calm myself down. _

_Oh my god. _

_Mike Newton's **thing** had been poking into my back. _

_I shuddered, disgusted. He was...turned on... by dancing with me. I felt bad now, leading him on and dancing like that when I had no intention of being anything more than friends him. My heart belonged to another. The man who I felt as if I had betrayed, even though I was nothing to him. He didn't want me. _

_After some minutes, my breathing had returned to normal and I left the bathroom with no intention of returning to the party. I would go upstairs and watch TV in Alice's room until the party was over. I had almost reached the top of the stairs when I felt something grasp at my hand. Before I had time to turn around, he was in front of me dragging me behind him down the hall as I struggled to keep up. _

_Pushing me against the wall, he placed his hands either side of me caging me in with his arms so I was unable to get by. He was breathing heavily, his face contorting with anger and pain as he loomed over me. The thrill I felt in the pit of my stomach could have been fear but I was not afraid of the man standing in front of me. _

_His green eyes bore into mine, flashing with fire. His bronze shock of hair stood on end, falling in every direction and standing in testament to his distress. His jaw was locked, brow furrowed and lips pursed. I felt another thrill tingle in my abdomen as butterflies tumbled around in the pit of my stomach. He was beautiful. _

"_Why are you doing this to me?" He choked out, his voice barely a whisper. The struggle was evident in his voice. He leaned into me, skimming his nose along my jawline behind my ear and breathing in deeply. His scent surrounded me making me feel light headed. _

"_Doing what?" I answered breathlessly._

_He pulled back, leaning away from me, "Taunting me. Teasing me. You're not being fair."_

"_Life's not fair, Edward." _

_I crossed my arms in front of me, partly to hide the effect he had on my traitorous body but mostly to stop me from reaching out to touch him. He stared at me, one eyebrow raised and I glared in response. I was not going to be intimidated._

"_You should stay away from Newton."_

_What!_

"_Why? What's it to you?" I retorted, petulantly._

"_I don't like him." He responded, sounding just as childish as I had. _

"_You don't like him. Oh, well sure then," I answered sarcastically, "**He** likes me. **He** wants to date me." _

_The hurt flashed in his deep eyes. I shouldn't have said that. I didn't want to date Mike Newton. He knew that. _

"_Go date **him**, then."_

"_Maybe I will." I pushed past his arm and walked away from him. I opened the door to Alice's bedroom, stepping through and closed it behind me._

_

* * *

_

_It had been two days since Alice's birthday party._

_Alice had spent the last two days talking non-stop about boys. Well, one boy in particular. Jasper. That blond haired boy. They had apparently made out in Alice's bedroom at the party and he had asked her out on a date. Hence, why she hadn't stopped talking the whole weekend._

_I now knew far more about Jasper than I ever wished to know. Alice really didn't shut up. His blond hair was natural. He was 6 ft 1. He liked rock music and played the guitar. He played on the football team? Etc. Etc... _

_She had spent two days over analysing every thing he had ever said or done to her and she had been manically preparing for tonights date. Which was occurring, more accurately, at this exact moment. She had panicked over everything- her clothes, her shoes, how she should greet him, would he kiss her, should she kiss him? _

_I had agreed to help Alice get ready and spent the morning watching as she fixed her hair and chose her outfit. I really had no idea about clothes or make-up and having never been on a date myself I couldn't help there. But apparently, my presence was enough because by the time a nervous looking Jasper turned up at the Cullen house, she was radiating calm. _

_She looked truly beautiful, in the outfit she had finally chosen and I couldn't help but be a little jealous. Not that I wasn't happy for her. I was. Jasper seemed like a good guy and he adored Alice. But that was half the problem. _

_The guy I liked currently wouldn't give me the time of day. I barely got an acknowledgement of hello, but I wished just once he would look at me like Jasper looked at Alice today. And it wasn't because I knew he didn't like me. _

_In the rare moments that Alice wasn't mooning over Jasper, Alice had found the time to comment on my dancing with Mike. Predictably, he had called asking me on a date, but I had declined reminding him of my Dad's policy of not allowing me to date, thank god. Apparently, I was not to be trusted around boys after last years trouble. But I didn't think Mike was going to give up that easily. _

_I hadn't seen Edward since the party. Alice had no idea of the argument that had happened between me and Edward, at all. Which was both good and bad. Good because I'm pretty sure she shouldn't know that I had a thing for her brother, but bad because I wish I had someone to talk about this to. Someone. Anyone..._

_My stomach felt like a jumble of twisted of knots and my heart leapt at any mention of his name. I don't know what possessed me to speak that way to him. He wouldn't want me now; he shouldn't want me. And I shouldn't want him. But I couldn't help but feel this way. Everything was all messed up. I had lost my appetite and I barely slept the last two nights. I couldn't bare the thought of him thinking badly of me. If all we could ever be was friends I would be happy with that. I would. _

_So, I had decided to bake cookies to distract me from the mess I had gotten myself into. Again. Arriving at the store, I grabbed a basket and made my way through the aisles to the baking supplies clutching my shopping list. _

_I added flour, sugar, chocolate chips and baking powder to my basket before heading off down another aisle for some peanut butter. Mmmmm...peanut butter chocolate chip cookies. Thank god for small pleasures in life._

_Making my way down the aisle, focusing on the list in my hands as I double checked to see if I had forgotten anything. Not looking where I was headed I managed to knock into someone standing in front of the peanut butter._

"_I'm so sorry," I cried as I stumbled into the person. A hand shot out and gripped my underarm, steadying me on my feet._

"_Thank..." I began but the word was lost on my lips as I looked up into green eyes. He furrowed his brow and pursed his lips before releasing his grip on my arm._

"_Bella," his hand went into his hair, tugging harshly, "I...I...' _

_I looked down at my feet, not willing to meet his gaze and saw his basket of groceries on the floor. I peered down into his basket noticing the bread and jelly among a lot of frozen foods._

"_Aren't you a bit old for peanut butter and jelly?" I questioned and then realizing what I had said. I mumbled "I'm sorry. I'll just go..."_

_I turned around and made my way to the checkouts in a sort of jog- half-walking, half-running. Rushing to the basket checkout I threw my items onto the conveyor belt and stood waiting behind a woman who was receiving her change. When the woman left, the boy at the checkout grunted a hello and began scanning through my shopping. As I hastily loaded my items into a paper bag, I could see him approach the checkout. _

_The boy totalled the amount I owed and I thrust a bill at him and grabbed the paper bag full of my groceries. "Ma'am, your change?" I heard the cashier call after me as I retreated out the shop._

"_Bella..." I heard him call out my name but I didn't stop. I carried on walking, hoping he wasn't following me. I cradled the bag of groceries in my arms, focusing solely on reaching my truck. God, that was embarrassing. It's no surprise he wants nothing to do with me. _

_I have to get out of here. _

_Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed the shiny silver volvo parked in the opposite corner of the parking lot. How had I not seen that before? _

_Hearing footsteps behind me, I knew that Edward ad followed me and I hurried towards my truck, shifting the bag into one arm and pulling my keys out of my jeans pocket. As I was fumbling with the lock I realized that the footsteps were now directly behind me. _

_I froze as he grabbed my arm, pulling me around and stepping towards me. I backed away from him until my back was against the truck but he continued to step towards me until the toes of his sneakers touched mine. He stood there, his body a hairs breath away from mine. I could feel my chest heaving as my heart beat rapidly. My body was frozen, my muscles tensed. _

_He looked down at me, as I stood there mesmerised by his presence. There was no mistaking his expression as his face distorted with pain and those deep green eyes smouldered. _

"_Don't ever walk away from me again," His voice was husky and I felt a flicker of ire ignite at his words before his lips suddenly crashed into mine._

_I was so stunned, I lost my grip on my keys and for a moment I stood motionless unable to respond. _

_Edward. _

_The bag fell from my arms._

_I wound my arms around his neck and attacked his lips. Immediately, his tongue snaked into my mouth, probing deeply and I couldn't help but moan in response. God, he tasted so good. His chest vibrated in a low growl and he pulled me closer into him, his hands gripping my ass and pulling our hips together. My fingers found their way into his hair and it was his turn to moan as he began to kiss me more aggressively._

_In that moment nothing mattered. Not the fact that this man was my best friends brother. Not the fact that he was almost 8 years older than me. It was just him and me and it felt so right. _

_Eventually, the pace of our kisses slowed down, until we were sharing chaste sweet open mouthed kisses. He kissed me once more before pulling away, green eyes shining and chest heaving. _

"_I can't stay away from you any more." _

"_Then don't."_

_He took this as an invitation and moved in to kiss me once again. This time it was completely different from our previous kiss. The passion was there but there was something else. Something more. My hands found their way back into Edward's hair as he cradled my face in his hands and lovingly placed the softest of kisses on my lips. My body quivered in response. My heart had not stopped beating heavily in my chest but now my chest seemed to be aching for him. _

_I broke the kiss gasping for air and he buried his face into the crook of my neck breathing noisily. I would my arms around his back and he held me close to him for a while before stepping back and loosing physical contact completely. He leant forward and grasped my hand in his, looking downwards and playing with our intertwined fingers. _

"_Can...can you meet me tomorrow? Please? We need to ...to talk about this." His voice was low and he stumbled over the words in his hurry to get them out. _

"_Yes." _

_I answered immediately, knowing I would do anything he asked of me. My heart soared and body hummed with life. His eyes found mine, as if gauging the validity of my response. He nodded once before sighing and releasing my hand. Then he bent down and gathered up my spilled bag of groceries before taking the dropped keys and making quick work of the opening the door and placing the groceries on the passenger seat. _

_He grinned holding the door open for me and motioned for me to get in. I slipped into the seat and he pulled the seatbelt reaching over to buckle me in. I breathed in his scent as he lingered over clipping the buckle in, smoothing the seatbelt over my shoulder. Tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear, he softly kissed my lips once more. _

"_I'll call you." He said, firmly. His eyes showed the importance of his words and he placed the keys in my hand, "Tonight. I'll call you, tonight."_

_I nodded in response and he slammed my car door shut, walking towards his car. I sat in my truck watching though the mirror as he got into his car after one last grin in my direction. The car engine gunned noisily and away he drove, tires screeching, out of the lot._

_I felt the loss of him as soon as he was out of my sight. He did want me. He wanted me in the same way I wanted him. I thought back to all the times I had seen him as he watched me from a far. He had been trying to stay away from me. Keeping his distance. But now something had changed. _

_And he wasn't going to stay away now._

_Oh god.

* * *

_

_**Any reviews would be great. Billy X **_


	8. Chapter 7

_**Chapter Seven**_

_**Present.**_

_Beeeeeeep. Beeeeeeep. Beeeeeeep._

I was awakened from my unconscious state by the shrill beeping of my alarm. I lay in my bed soaking up its warmth and wishing I didn't have to get up just yet. Ugh, school. For a glorious moment everything was how it should be in the world. And then I remembered.

A missed period.

Pregnant.

A baby.

My baby. Mine and Edward's baby.

A loud banging on my bedroom door broke me out of the sheer panic that once again had began to overwhelm me.

"Isabella, are you awake?" Charlie shouted through the door.

"Yes, Dad," I responded loudly but still unmoving from my bed.

There was no way I could get out of going to school today. Charlie would know if I played hookie.

I eventually rolled out of bed and shuffled towards the bathroom. Looking in the mirror above the sink, I took in my appearance. My skin was deathly pale with dark circles underneath my eyes. My eyes looked red and puffy and my hair was a complete mess. I looked like shit.

I felt exhausted, which wasn't surprising considering the lack of sleep I had had last night. The shell shock I had felt when I first realized that I had missed my period was soon replaced by a fit of crying as blind panic had set in.

I had curled up on my bed for hours, just thinking about my missing period. At points I had convinced myself that I was just being silly, that my period was just late and it was a sign of stress. This was the most reasonable answer and I was sure I was just overreacting. But another part of me started playing 'what if'? What if I was pregnant? What if I was going to have a baby?

At that point I had began googling pregnancy symptoms. _Missed period? Morning sickness? Tender breasts? Fatigue? Frequent urination? _This had led to another crying fit, when I realised my recent tiredness and weird bouts on nausea were pregnancy symptoms. Could I be more stupid?

It was looking more and more likely that I was pregnant.

I had eventually stumbled across a pregnancy calculator which used the date of my last period to work out have far along I was. Apparently I was 9 weeks.

9 weeks. I couldn't believe that I was could bet that far along. No. It must be wrong. I tried to think back to my last period...it was the end of June. My periods were never that regular. Still being a minor I couldn't go on the pill without my father's permission...yeah, that wasn't going to happen. And condoms were just never all that handy...

How could I have been so stupid? I never thought this would happen to me. I couldn't have a baby. I was too young. I didn't want a baby. Sure, Edward and I had discussed having children in the future...but not yet. I had no idea what to do with a baby. I don't even know how to change a diaper.

Jesus, what was Edward going to say? How was I going to tell Edward? Would he still want me?

And Charlie would kill me. And Alice...what would I say to Alice?

What was I going to do?

I eventually cried myself to sleep.

Looking back at my reflection once more, I splashed cold water on my face and turned on the shower to let it heat up. Stripping off my pjyamas I looked at my naked body in the bathroom mirror once more. Placing a hand on my abdomen I felt for any changes. I turned to the side but couldn't notice any visible bumps. I couldn't tell if my boobs were bigger or if it was just my imagination.

Sighing, I stepped in the shower and quickly began my morning routine. After showering and drying off, I stepped back into my bedroom quickly throwing on underwear and grabbing jeans, a t-shirt and an oversized hoodie at random. I tied my wet hair back in loose bun at the nape of my neck and grabbed my school bag.

Charlie was already gone when I made it into the kitchen. I skipped breakfast, as the mere thought of food was already making me feel nauseous.

I shut the house up and climbed into my truck, deciding to head to school early. I would be stupidly early but it would be better than hanging around the house to worry myself into a panic again.

* * *

The morning went by in a blur. I couldn't tell you a word that was spoken in any of my classes or if any assignments had been given out. I wasn't even know if anyone had even tried to talk to me. I couldn't concentrate on anything but the possibility that I might be pregnant. Shit.

After fourth period I made my way with a chattering Jessica towards the cafeteria. The food smells as I walked in made my stomach churn and I had to fight to swallow back the bile the burned its way up my throat. After joining the lunch line, I grabbed a random sandwich and lemonade knowing that I probably won't be able to eat. I made my way over to my usual lunch table where Alice, Jasper, Angela, Ben, Eric and Lauren were seated. Fortunately, Mike Newton and his friends were missing today.

I exchanged quiet greetings with the others and opened the lemonade gulping some down to sooth my stomach. Unwrapping the sandwich I took a small bite, tasting peanut butter and jelly. Edward's favourite.

I sat lost in my own world chewing my sandwich slowly and focusing on my now gurgling stomach, as the conversation carried on around me.

"Okay, I'll bite." I looked up as Alice threw down her fork into her salad, "What the hell is up with you?" She hissed.

"Huh?"

Alice narrowed her eyes at me from her seat across the table, "You've been staring into space for the whole of the lunch period, Bella. What's going on?"

"Nothing." I responded.

"Come here," she stood and grabbed my hand yanked me out of my chair. Pulling me towards a now derelict corner of the cafeteria, she glared at me, "What the hell is going on?"

"Nothing, Alice. I've just a lot on my mind that's all." I implored her with my eyes.

I didn't want to have to lie to Alice. Not directly. It was only a matter of time before everything came out.

"Bullshit." She spat, "That's complete bullshit."

"I'm fine, Alice." I looked into her clear blue eyes knowing that she would see straight through me.

"Your not fine, Bella. I know there is something wrong. I just wish you would tell me."

She crossed her arms in front of her, "Are you hurt? Is it Charlie?"

"No."

"Is it your Mom?"

"No, Alice. Just leave it." I snapped.

I sighed placing my hand on Alice's arm and looking into her eyes, "Look I'm sorry, Alice. But I can't tell you, okay? I wish I could but I just need...time. Time to sort it all out. Okay? But when I can tell you will be the first person to know, okay?"

"I'm just worried about you." She sighed and her face filed with concern, "I'm here if you ever need anything. Anything."

_Oh, Alice._ God, I hated myself. I really wished in that moment that I could tell her. Tell someone. I had never been so scared but I couldn't risk Charlie finding out before Edward knew about the baby.

"Thankyou. You really are the best friend a girl could ask for." I swept Alice into a hug and clung on for dear life, only just being able to keep my composure.

I let go and and Alice pulled me back towards the table, "Come on, we'll be late for class."

After saying goodbye to Alice and the rest of the group I begun to head back to door leading the science hall. As I was passing the lunch line, the smell of cafeteria food reached me and a wave of nausea suddenly rushed through me. Filled with the urge to suddenly be sick I bolted out of the cafeteria and into the girls bathroom at the end of the science hall.

I rushed passed a couple of shocked looking softmores before locking myself into a stall and kneeling front of the toilet. I could feel my stomach still churning but as I breathed in deeply the nausea abated. I sat down leaning against the wall of the stall and pulled my knees into my chest, letting the tears fall.

Because I know now, that this isn't a maybe. That this isn't just a possibility.

I'm nine weeks pregnant.

The second warning bell sounded and I could hear the door of the bathroom slam. Hoping the bathroom was now empty, I slung my bag over my shoulder and unlocked the door stepping out. Thankfully, the coast was clear and I quickly splashed some cold water onto my puffy face and red eyes.

I ran out of the bathroom quickly and towards my biology class not wanting to be late.

"Hey, Baby," I heard a voice drawl and suddenly, an arm reached around my waist from behind, forcing a hand into the back pocket of my jeans. The suddenness made me recoil.

"Don't touch me," I barked in shock flinging the arm away from me and swiftly turning around. Mike Newton stood there with a grin on his face. He began to step towards me but I held out my hand in warning not wanting him to come any closer.

"Ah, Bella. Don't be like that!" He ignored my protests instead stepped forward attempting to place his arms around my shoulders, "You know you're my girl."

I saw red and before I knew it I had thrust my fist at him. Hard. _I am not his girl. _

"I said don't fucking touch me." I stepped back and watched as he rubbed his stomach, "And I am not your girl."

I turned and started to walk away. I was done with this. This had been a shit day and I just wanted to get home. I would crawl into bed and pretend this day never happened. I hadn't forgot very far when I heard Newton call out, "Is that a no then?"

I stopped and turned around on the spot. I could feel the fury build up in me as I slowly walked back to a grinning Newton.

"WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO GET IT?" My voice was louder than I expected and my body shook, "One time, Mike. One time. I let you rub against my ass at a party. ONCE. Over a year ago.

"I turned you down then and you still keep asking me out! When are you going to get it?"

I paused watching his face go from grinning to pained. People grouped around us watching and students poured out of the classrooms into the hall. I took a deep breath, hoping to calm myself.

" I. Dont. Like. You."

I began walking away before reconsidering and turning to face Newton once again. Lowering my voice I spoke, glaring directly at Newton.

"Stay away from me, do you hear? Don't touch me. Don't talk to me. You know what, don't even fucking look at me. Okay?"

Not waiting to hear his response I pushed through the crowds of people and began walking swiftly towards the nearest exit. I passed by a shell shocked Alice but didn't stop. I increased my pace as until I was running.

"Bella," I could hear Alice calling my name, "Wait!"

"Just leave me alone!" I yelled, increasing my pace as until I was running out the door.

* * *

After arriving home I went straight upstairs and collapsed on my bed finally letting go of the anguish in my chest that I had been restraining since I had run out of school. I cradled the my pillow in my arms, burying my face into the cotton as I let the tears fall. As I lay there I could feel something sharp digging painfully into my hip. I turned over and groped around finally coming into contact with my discarded cell phone. After switching it off last night I had forgotten to take it to school with me. Turning it on, I watched as it came to life.

There were 12 missed calls since last night. I had 3 texts. I read them each in turn.

**Why didn't you answer? Call me. X**

**Bells, are you mad at me? I'll try again later. Please answer. X**

**Why is your phone off? I'm worried about you. X **

I deleted the texts one by one and erased all existence of the calls from my call log. I laid back on the comforter and closed my eyes. I just wished this would go away.

The next thing I knew I was awoken from a deep sleep by a knock on my bedroom door. I bolted upright and glanced around in confusion. I must have fallen asleep. Looking out the window, darkness had already begun to fall. The knocking continued and I realized that it must be Charlie knocking.

"Yes?" I called, my voice croaky.

The door opened and Charlie entered the room, still dressed in his uniform. He eyed my speculatively, stating gruffly "You look awful."

"I don't feel good. I think I'm getting sick," I replied, not untruthfully, "I left school after lunch."

Hopefully this would give me an excuse to stay in bed for the next few days.

"You should stay and sleep. I'll order pizza." Charlie backed out the room, cautiously. It worked. Charlie left me alone for the rest of the evening, coming into my room only once to leave pizza.

I didn't eat the pizza Charlie brought up. Instead I sat numbly on my bed, staring through the window into the darkness outside. I contemplated what I was going to do next. What am I going to do with a baby? How am I going to tell Edward? And Alice? What was Charlie going to do? I knew next to nothing about babies. Sure I had wanted to teach but that was a hell of a different ball game to having a baby. I didn't know if it was something that I could do. I wasn't sure that I now had much of a choice...

My cell phone rang periodically through the night but I didn't even bother to look at the caller ID to check who was calling. I didn't want to speak to either one of them.

It was much later on at night, I was sitting in darkness, the house was still and Charlie was long sleeping that my phone pinged to signify I had received a text message. I finally picked up my phone and debated whether to read it. The problem with phone calls it that you have to actively participate in a conversation. Text messaging is a one-way form of communication that doesn't require a response. It gives the reader time to think, time to formulate a response. I clicked open.

**If you don't come outside, I'm coming in to get you. **

The words echoed in my mind as I sat there in momentary shock. My heart sped up and fear cursed through my veins. He's here. I knelt up on my bed to get a better look out the window. A dark figure was standing in the yard at the side of the house, half hidden in the shadows beneath a large spruce tree. He moved out of the shadows briefly, looking straight up to the window and motioning for me to go outside.

I darted away from the window and backed into my bedroom. Shit. He saw me. What was I going to do? I wasn't ready to tell him yet. I didn't know how to face him. He would know there was something wrong. Edward always knew. I read the text message again. I had no choice.

Trembling I slipped out my bedroom door and quietly tiptoed down the stairs. Making my way into the kitchen, I unlocked the kitchen door flinching as the clicking of the mechanism echoed in the silence. I stepped outside into the yard and slowly closed the door behind me. When I had turned back towards yard, I spotted a tall figure in the middle of the yard walking towards me.

"Edward, what are you doing?" I hissed, running towards him, "Someone will see you."

Still dressed in his hospital work clothes, his knotted tie now hung loosely around his neck and on his feet were running shoes.

"I don't care," He voice was gravely and he took no measure to temper his volume. "What's going on?"

As soon as he was close enough his hand shot out and he grabbed onto my arm, holding me in place and preventing me from escape.

"Why aren't you answering your cell?" I looked up into his face and his eyes bore fiercely into mine. There were dark circles under his eyes, and a scruff covering his chin. His hair stuck up in all directions as he raked his other hand through it. He looked tired.

But god, I had missed him. I was filled with loved for him. Even like this when everything was wrong and uncertain. I loved him, more than anything.

Ignoring his questions, I tried to pull back my arm but he held it firmly in his grasp, "You can't be here. You need to leave."

"I'm not leaving, Isabella. Not until you talk to me," He narrowed his eyes determinedly at me.

"Don't call me that!" I burst out, my tone laced with anger. He released my arm in shock.

"I'm sorry." His apologised, face softened as an expression of worry graced his features, "Please?"

I sighed, knowing that I was going to have to talk to him. For a moment the fear welling up inside me threatened to overwhelm me but I took a deep breath pushing it back down deeper inside. "Come on."

I crossed the yard, leading Edward around the front of the house towards the bench on the front porch. I sat on one side explaining, "Charlie wouldn't be able to see us from here."

He sat down, wrapping his arm around my waist and tried to pull me along the bench towards him. I coward away immediately, leaning back from him. The feeling of his body close to mine was too much. I couldn't handle it. I was already teetering on the brink of an emotional collapse. He pulled his arm back away from me, shifting his body before leaning forward and resting his head in hands.

We sat there for a moment in silence as I contemplated the news I was about to give him. How could I tell him this? I watched as he raked his hands hand repeatedly through his hair. He turned his face toward me, still hunched over, head still in his hands, "Talk to me."

I looked away, focusing instead on the deserted street. I tired to formulate the words in my head.

Pregnant. Knocked up. Having a baby.

I didn't want to say it. If I spoke the words it would make it real.

"Talk to me, Bella." His voice was demanding this time, "I know there's something wrong."

I still couldn't look at him.

I could feel my body trembling and I struggled to keep my composure. Raising my head to look through my blurry vision I tried to blink away the tears in my eyes to focus on him. He was watching me intently.

"I think...No...I am." I took a deep breath. _Like a band aid_, I decided and blurted out the words, "I'm pregnant."

The words hung in the air and realization set in. This was real. I _was_ pregnant. Edward's face settled into an expression of shock. He stared at me as if he could decide if I was pregnant by just looking at me.

His eyes widened and he let out a big puff of air, "Jesus."

A sob broke out and I closed my eyes as the tears streamed down my cheeks. Pulling my knees up into my chest, I hugged my arms around them and buried my face into my arms. I continued to sob as I felt my heart break. _He hates me._

Suddenly I was felt myself being lifted by a strong pair of arms and surrounded by his familiar scent. His arms pulled me tightly into his chest and I wraps my arms around him in response, crying into his shirt. He held me in a vice like grip until my sobbing faded out and my breathing calmed down. It was his low voice broke that the silence.

"I- I thought you were breaking up with me."

_What? _I shook my head desperately, peering up through teary eyelashes to look at his face. He looked...concerned and...relieved?

He stuttered, "Are- are you sure?"

"My last period is three weeks late," I answered, nodding this time.

"Have you taken a test?" He leant back glancing at me with a worried expression. He still hadn't told me what he thought about it.

"No."

He released one arm from around me, "We need to take a test."

I felt the panic begin to set in. _He doesn't believe me. _

"I know...I didn't know where to get one...I," the words rushed out, "It's not like I can go to the Thriftway... or the doctor." Another sob escaped as I felt the emotions overwhelm me and the tears began to blind me once again.

"Shush. Shush. It's okay." I felt his arms tighten around me once again and he rubbed comforting circles on my back, "When did you find out?"

"Yesterday." I chocked out. Tears were streaming down my face and I was struggling to breath evenly.

"And you've been worrying yourself silly. It's why you didn't answer your cell."

"I'm sorry," I whispered, nodding.

I looked up to see a pained expression cross his face. His voice rough he whispered, "Were you ever going to tell me?"

"Yes. Yes!" I replied, "I've just been panicking. I didn't know what to do."

Edward looked thoughtful for a moment, "You're period might just be late. Stress can can affect a women's menstrual cycle."

"No," I shook my head, "I've been feeling nauseas. I've been overly tired."

"Nausea?"

"I thought it was just...stress. But today, I passed by the lunchline in the cafeteria and thought I was going hurl."

"Shit." He muttered. I didn't know what to say. It was obvious that he was just as shit scared by the though of my being pregnant as I was.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered, looking him in the eye for the first time.

"Hey, hey. It's not your fault." His green eyes shone with sincerity, "It'll be okay."

We sat there for a while holding each other, whilst the reality of the situation sunk in. I thought about his words but I wasn't sure if it was going to be okay. I'm not ready for a baby.

"When?" his voice broke through my thoughts, surprising me.

"Huh?"

He raised an eyebrow in question, "When do you think we...ya know. We're usually good with that kind of stuff..."

"Erm...between from the beginning through mid July."

Edward grew silent again and I stared blankly out at the dark street. I was tired of thinking about this.

"Alice's party!" He exclaimed, suddenly.

"What?" I looked to him confused.

"Alice's party...In the clearing... I was wearing those board shorts without the pockets so I didn't have my wallet and you..."

I finished his sentence, thinking back to that night, "...I wanted to anyway."

He covered his eyes with his hand, rubbing harshly at them.

"I was going to pull out...I just...Jesus. Shit." His hand moved upwards to rake through his hair, "This is my fault."

"No."

I pulled back looking him in the eye and reached out to hold his hand, entwining our fingers.

"Yes. It is," He eyes flickered with emotion, "I should have said no. And now you're pregnant."

I felt my stomach sink at his words. I guess the how and there where didn't really matter. I was pregnant. Edward didn't seem at all happy about it. I didn't even know if I was. The questioned was out before I really thought about it.

"What am I going to do?"

"What do you mean?_" _His face turned to confusion.

"I'm having a baby, Edward. I don't know what I'm going to do."

"What...you don't know what you're going to do?" He looks at me with disbelief, "Do...do you not want to have it? Are you not going to keep it?"

The horrified look on his face made my heart leap in my chest and my stomach churn. I looked down at our clasped fingers.

"No! No! I didn't mean...I'm not going to get rid of it ….I ...it's my baby you know. But I'm still in school, Edward. And Charlie is going to kill me."

"It's our baby, Bells," His eyes shone with emotion and the corner of his mouth turned up in an almost smile, "I'll look after you both."

I sighed, "It's not that simple, Edward."

"Yes it is," he replied firmly, releasing my hand and placing his on my arm, "I love you, Bella. Move in with me and we can be a family."

"What about school? I still want to graduate."

"We'll figure it all out, I promise. One step at a time. We still need to do a test to confirm," He paused, "Listen, my shift at the hospital doesn't start till tomorrow evening. I'll drive into Port Angeles and get a test. What time can you get away?"

"I'll skip school. Charlie thinks I'm sick anyway. "

"Okay." He grinned at me.

"Okay." I repeated, smiling for the first time. He leaned in then, capturing my lips with his in a searing kiss. He his lips felt glorious against mine. Smooth and soft but firm as I responded in kind, drinking in the taste of him. It was a kiss of promise. Of hope.

He broke away first, pulling back and resting his forehead against mine and gazing deeply into my eyes.

"I really should go back in," I whispered reluctantly. He nodded once at me and we stood, walking hand in hand around the side of the house to the kitchen door.

Pulling me swiftly into his arms he held me tightly and whispered, "You don't have to worry about doing this alone, Bella."

"I love you, so much." I whispered in return, pressing my face into the smooth skin of his neck.

"I love you. Always." I heard him mutter, feeling him place soft kisses into my hair and my heart soared. His words brought tears to my eyes again and then he released me from his embrace with a grudging look on his face.

"Call me tomorrow when it's safe," he called quietly, with one last pleading look. I watched as he walked away, turning to look back at me once more before he disappeared into the darkness of the night.

* * *

**Longest chapter yet! **


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